Apparently she wants another dog. I know what the problem is, I’ve just been so wonderful and charming and lovable that she now needs more. What is She, a junkie? How greedy.
I want it made very, very, very, very clear – I want to be an only dog. The end.
What if she does not have enough love to go around? What if we run out of food? What if the government mandates you can only have one dog and she has to choose.? Man oh man, there are a billion ways this can go wrong.
How can I stop this? I pooped in the house during Sandy’s visit, She just cleaned it up and forgave me. I mess up her bed everyday, she laughs. I drool, shed, fart, bark, lung and take up the whole bed. She just keeps loving me and wanting another dog to do more of the same. Is she insane?
My one saving, hopeful thing is that she said ‘it’s not for sure’. She applied and someone else could too so maybe this will fall through. I don’t like to see Her disappointed but I can live with it on this one issue. I mean did She not hear all the noise that dog made? I’m not even sure he’s a dog, he could be a pig.
Signed, Melvin. The ONE and ONLY, FOREVER. Amen.
PS. I’m not sure who she is trying to fool, that may not be the original black rolling box but me eyeballs knows what this means: