Hey, it’s me, Jake.

I thought I’d give my own update.  I’m doing great, and in case you ladies were wondering, I’m still very sexy. I know I’m a dog but sometimes I see myself in the mirror and I think, MEOW!

I love my life.  I sleep-in like a teenager, She literally has to nudge me to get up.  My butt must still be pretty big cause my back legs really struggle to hold it up, especially first thing in the morning. It’s ok though cause she bought me a car to drive around in!!! What-up ladies?!

When I think of my life, there are two things I see.  Her and him.  First, I love Her.  I mean, I love-love her.  She makes me be calm and gooey inside.  I used to be all scatter-brained and freaky but now, I’m mellllloooowwwww. I love to stare at her.  I turn my head away from her so I can stare her directly in the eye.  And she blows me kisses.  Gahhhhhhh.  I mean I now know what true love is.  Heres a secret… sometimes my butt shoots out the meatballs and I SWEAR on Melvin’s butt that I don’t mean to do it, I mean I’m as shocked as anyone else in the vicinity.  But she just says, ‘it’s ok, I’ll get it’.  Is that what love does, it makes her willing to pick up meatballs IN THE HOUSE?

Then there is him, brother, Melvin, the scent that heals me. Hot damn I love that guy.  Did you know that when he is standing up, I fit perfectly underneath him?  I mean what are the odds, it’s like we are puzzle pieces.  I don’t know if two pieces makes a puzzle, but our two pieces make a whole lotta awesome!  If I’m being honest, Melvin is much nicer than I am.  I still have split personality syndrome and sometimes Absolutely Not (that is my alters name, at least that is what She calls out when he rears his evil head) will try to bite Melvin’s face and I try to fight forward but Absolutely Not must really like how Melvin’s face tastes.  Apparently Absolutely Not doesn’t have a functioning nose cause the prize is at the other end of Melvin’s body. What a dummy.

I wish I could make Melvin Booty Candles, we would make a fortune!  She always says that we should get jobs, so maybe one day that can happen!

Well, I gotta run.  I will leave you with the highlight of my awesome life thus far – it just happened this past week.  Even though She wrote that Melvin doesn’t like to snuggle me, SNUGGLING OCCURRED PEOPLE!  I don’t know how, I don’t know why and I don’t care!  He loves me, I just knew it!!!

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