This post is 100% what you think it is about. Jake’s dong is huge.
Listen, I have embraced the fact that his hind legs are entering into early retirement. I fully understand that as that happens, a meatball will pop out here and there. I accept that he cannot always hold his pee. What I did not anticipate was trying to find a belly band that would hoist/hold in/control his humongous…buddy.
Melvin is 50 lbs bigger than Jake. Jake’s man part is twice the size of Melvin’s. I bought Jake belly bands that fit his TINY, IS-HE-WEARING-A-CORSET, SIZE WAIST but they are no match for the man part. I put the band on and Big Jake pops out. I hoist up, tuck in, clip tight and one minute later, there he is. Both of him. I can’t go up in size because then it won’t fit his lady waist. The struggle is so, so real.
Jake was apparently born for porn. I feel bad denying him his destiny. In the meantime, google is likely laughing their asses off at my recent search terms.
(sorry if this offended anyone! all details are truth). I am not going to include photographic proof, instead I’ll just include saucy photos that he could use for his online profile.
LOLLLOOOLLLOLOLLOL OMG I sooooo needed this laugh on Monday morning!!! Just try to top this one, Internet.
Hahahahah! Glad to assist in the Monday laughing!!!!
OMG! I think the same thing about Boney at certain angles. Just more proof that they are brothers from another mother! 🙂
Bow chicka bow wow!
Ohhhh too funny! I wonder if that is related to their age when neutered? Juli and Ray have nothing on our friend’s intact chihuahua.
Oh, that is a good theory. Obviously I don’t know but if that is the case, Melvin was neutered VERY early!
Lol. Well my boys were both done before six months. The are officers in the teeny weeny peeny club.
I think I just peed myself laughing!
You can borrow one of Jake’s belly bands, we have plenty!!!
This is hilarious! Alex and I always talk about how Ru’s man part is waaaaaaaay larger than it should be considering his size. We joke that it’s why he’s so good at being a jerk but people and other dogs still adore him – he’s got that sexy confidence. 😉
HAHAHAHHA! I’m glad we are not the only ones having these conversations! A few months ago one convo went like this: Why is Jake’s pee machine green? Because it drags in the grass.
I’m dying over here! Go on with your bad self, Jake!
Hahahahha, I know! We need to get him a porn soundtrack or something.
Oh dear lord that made me laugh… and I really needed it this morning… Jake you really are a ladies man.
Glad we could help out!
Alright, lunch break just took a turn. It will be a while before I stop laughing enough to get back to eating. You go, Jake!
hahahahah! love it!
OMG you kill me. 😀 😀 😀
Ha! He kills me!
Get it, Jake!! Too funny! Our foster, Bandit, was the same way – also a small dog at about 25 pounds – but It was WAY bigger than Ed’s!
I’m thinking the neuter age is a good theory – Ed was neutered right after we got him, but we had Bandit neutered (at about 3ish).
BOL – Oh my gosh too funny! We haven’t had that problem, thankfully, but it is always good to know we aren’t the only ones with strange search questions (usually animal related!).
Monty and Harlow
Too funny!! Thanks for the good laugh.
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