This is Jake’s gotcha week. Since the actual day is over the holiday weekend, we are sharing our letters early.  Here is Melvin’s…

Dear Jake,

You are noisy and small and you give off a strange sour smell.  You pee in my bed, a lot.  I know I mentioned noisy already but it’s worth repeating.  I would donate to the fund to get your face un-smoohsed so you could be less loud.

When we walk and you see a cat or another dog, your first reaction is to turn to me and try to bite at my face.  Geezus man, what the heck?  That makes no sense.  Do you not see that our leashes are tethered?  I could drag you kicking and screaming through these mean streets if I wanted to.  Get a grip, dummy.

I’m just going to put it out there,  I didn’t want you to come live with us.  Once you did, I knew there was no turning back. There was another dog once and he left Her and She cried, a lot.  She cried so much that people had to come see me bring dinner over and hug Her.  I don’t want Her upset, so that means you can never leave. Do you understand the words I’m saying? I’d say look at me when I’m talking to you but we all know you can’t do that.

But now, now that you have been here for a year, it sort of just seems like you have always been one of us.  Sure, you still drive me bonkers and yes, sometimes I step on you on purpose (why are you always under me?).  I guess, if I’m supposed to be honest in this letter,  I think it’s pretty cool that when I bark or you bark we together bark and run back and forth to protect our land house.  I also kind of like that when I am arms up on a window sill, you can fit under me and it looks like I have two heads.  Speaking of running, it makes me laugh that your hind legs are always straight when you run and you move them in a circular motion, how do you do that? She says you will probably have wheels one day, maybe I can pull you behind me, we’ll see!   I also think it’s hysterical that you get afraid when your tags hit your food bowl and you run off and flip your bowl upside down in the process, what a dork you can be.

We all know I have some insecurities about my nubbin, I mean most labs have a tail and I don’t but you seem to love my nubbin/butt area and that really means a lot to me. It’s like we are nubbin brothers.  I guess I also like waking up in the middle of the night and seeing you there.  Actually, I don’t even have to look cause I CAN HEAR YOU FROM TEN MILES AWAY.

We are always together.  She leaves and comes back be we are always together.  I like that.  I like that you are here. There is some saying ‘he ain’t heavy, he’s my brother’ and I don’t understand that cause I’m pretty heavy and I’m your brother so technically it makes no sense but I think it means something along the lines of always being there for each other or carrying the other when the other is struggling.  Sure, I’ll probably laugh at first if you fall, but I’ll carry you my brother (or pull you gently if you get wheels). Next to Her, you are my best friend.  (Well, next to Her and Grandpap, and Jason, and Shane, and a few other dudes but you’re in there little buddy!).

Happy one year with us!  I love you and if anyone tried to hurt you or eat you I would rain down hard on that parade.  No one messes with my bro.

Your hero boss brother,

Melvin

Some highlights from the past year…

The story as told by Jake.

“What the…he knows that is my spot, why is he there?!”

“Wait, could this be, dare I even think it, an invite to snuggle?!!!”

“Everyone be cool.  Seriously, no quick movements or noise. If you ruin this for me I’ll pee in your beds.” 

“OK, good, good.  I’ll just sit really still for a minute so he gets used to my awesomeness being so close to him.  He is probably feeling the warmth of my joy by now.” 

“My gawd he smells good.” 

“No, seriously, you gotta smell him.  It’s amazing.”

“Focus, man, focus.  The prize is right there, that gorgeous butt.  Move closer to da butt.”  

“He loves me and I love his butt.”  

The story as told by Melvin.

“What the BLEEP is he doing?”

This week has been way crazy.  I have not read a single blog all week – whaaaaat???? Today, while I play catch up, please enjoy more Jake antics.  I found him in the guest room, where he dragged a VERY HEAVY blanket from the laundry room to the extra pile of beds.  Then he apparently burrowed in for winter.

The very first week I had Melvin he gave me indication of past mistreatment by two objects.  The broom and hangers.  I brought the broom in on his second or third day with us and he dropped to the floor and nervous pee’d. I knew instantly it was the broom.  The hanger was even worse.  When you take your clothes off a hanger there is a swinging motion, the very first time I did this in front of Melvin he ran to the corner, cowered and moaned. Again, there was pee. On both occasions I quickly put the object away, with minimal gesture and sat on the floor near Melvin and allowed him to come to me on his own.  What was going through my head at that point was of course anger (at humans) but what was going through my heart was that I needed to put his past behind him and introduce him to the here and now.

After that, I set out on a mission to desensitize him.  I started with the broom. He’d get a treat, then I’d say ‘broom’ so he’d learn what was coming and then I’d treat him while the broom was around.  I’d put the broom on the floor and put treats around it and when I’d do the sweeping motion (a gentle sweeping motion of course) I’d drop treats and let the broom sweep them toward Melvin, almost like the broom was dispensing the treats.  I did similar efforts with hangers, although the hanger training took much longer.  With the hanger, I moved from just showing it to him, then to laying the hanger on the floor and treating him around it and finally graduation came when I was able to massage him with a hanger. The whole process took months and months and more months.  Now, he dens in my closet and hangers fall on him and he does not even flinch. Sweet, sweet success!

Because of those issues with Melvin I have always tried to desensitize the dogs to just about everything.  When I’m carrying clothes to the hamper, I always let something fall near them or drag across them so they learn that sometimes that could happen and to not be afraid.  When I’m carrying a box to the trash, I always put it low so it grazes them, just in the case a box ever falls near them or they brush up against one. They are exposed to the remote, the phone (and all it’s noises), towels and falling pillows.  To this day I still proactively expose Melvin to hangers, and have added Jake to the mix.  Googly eyes is pretty skittish over noises and fast movements but I’ve seen a huge improvement with him by just doing these things regularly.  If anyone were to ever look in my window  I’m pretty sure they would think they had arrived in Crazyville.  So be it!

I think a lot of success with de-sensitizing has to do with the human’s energy.  While the boys know I would never hurt them, they don’t always have the same faith in inanimate objects.  So pairing me with the object and over exposing them to items has really helped them both find a calm.  Which in return gives me a calm.

So if you ever come over and accidentally drop your coat on Jake, or flip your shoe off near Melvin’s head, no worries, they’re used to it!  And as for Melvin’s past mistreatment, well that was a long time ago. A whole lifetime ago in fact.  I believe truly and deeply that he has moved on, that those moments no longer haunt him.  In fact, I bet if we ran into anyone that might have caused him fear at one point in time, that he’d now greet them with wags and happiness.  Sure, at the beginning when I saw his terror, I wanted to hurt someone back, but rescue requires you to walk with your dog, from one life to the next.  They bring baggage and you unpack the baggage and then you figure out where to put the stuff.  Me being mad would not have helped Melvin.  He needed me to be calm and kind and thoughtful.

Here. And. Now.

Happy weekend!

There is zero way this blog can ever convey just how hysterical living with Jake can be. We try, but unless you live it, you just don’t fully know.  But this might help.  He put himself to bed again, and I thought I’d take some video to show you 1. how serious this dog is about sleep and private time and 2. how much he loves food.

I give you, Jake undercover…(when the camera shakes, its me laughing). 

This is how I found him:

Then I tried to wake him, you can hear snoring:

Then I tried to wake him again, more snoring:

Then I took a picture:

Then I got a treat, and he got up real fast:

Jake’s first gotcha day is approaching. I was looking back on blog posts from a year ago and we had just met the little man but nothing was official at this point.  Melvin’s post about NOT wanting a dog added to our family was exactly a year ago (that post is here).

I’ve been watching Jake lately, it’s like he’s always been with us.  One thing I strive for, as much as I can, is the boy’s schedule.  It’s not as much about time of day but more about order of events. I really do believe that giving them a certain level of consistency in their day gives me so many more moments to applaud them for doing good.

Melvin knows the dance, he and I choreographed it together.  From the moment we wake up in the morning to setting the alarm at night, Melvin can anticipate the moves that I make.  He counts on it.  For example, when the alarm announces “doors and windows armed, exit now”, he goes into the bedroom.

With Jake, it took a little while.  There were some mishaps, he got confused a few times and there were plenty of times he just refused to partake. In fact, he couldn’t accommodate every thing we were doing so we had to bend a little for him.  That is what families do.

Now, when Melvin comes running around the corner, on cue, little man comes rounding the corner right after him.  He knows the important words and how to act on them: ‘potty’ (he heads to back door), ‘walk’ (he heads to the garage door), ‘dinner’ (he runs laps around the island, not technically what I was going for but close enough), ‘treat’, ‘sit’, ‘time out’ (he sits for all of these), up and ‘ok’ (a release that he can do whatever, usually to come up on the couch or bed).  Of course he is still working on figuring out what ‘no’ means!

I know what ‘no’ means, I just choose not to listen when you say it. 

We all know I’m the most well-behaved dog in our house.  

I had my family over to the house last night.  We get together a lot (yay!) but the boys are not always around all of them at once, except holidays or when everyone comes here.  In situations where it is all adults, no issue, the boys do great.  But when the entire family gathers, there is a Princess. This particular love of mine comes dressed to party, a la tutu’s (her sense of style is one of the 10 billion things I adore about her).

Jake is not around little people very often.  I mean kids in the hood, sure, but he is usually on leash around them.  Previous encounters with Princess Tutu have included him jumping at the tutu as it bounces around with it’s wearer.  The type of jumping up and mouth grabbing that he’d do with a toy.  But when a child is attached to the tutu, that is not OK behavior.  So previously he has had to be removed from the situation so that everyone was safe.

There are several issue at play.  Jake is mesmerized by Princess Tutu. Her energy is his perfect match, the way she zips back and forth, up and down, well hello she’s human Jake!  Add to that, her clothes are so fun and Jake tends to takes himself up a few notches around her.

But last night, although he tried a few times to catch the tutu, he was respectful of the Princess.  We let him hang out in a different room for a while to acclimate to the noise and then we let him join the group.  At first we put Princess Tutu up on a royal pedestal but when we put her lower, he was, dare I say enamored. He. Did. Great!

Melvin man, he is good at staying when he wants to stay and moving when little people are tugging or squealing too much.  Jake will probably never be that dog, who removes himself, so I’m happy to see him able to adjust to to a change in the level of chaos.  And should a moment come when I see he needs a break, I will always remove him and give him moments away from the royal madness.

After everyone left, I was cleaning up and realized Jake was not downstairs (WHICH NEVER HAPPENS, he is always near me).  I finally found him upstairs, in his own bed, covered with his blanket, zonked out!  He literally put himself to bed!  You can’t even see him in the photos below, that is how tucked in he got himself, but if you could make him out, he’s to the right of the heap.

I just looked through my camera and whoa, I take a lot of photos of the boys!  Here are some recent photos I am pretty sure you have not seen… (except maybe on Instagram:  find us @tholupka_ohmelvin).

Jake fell asleep sitting up.  On me.  

He may be drunk. 

Hind legs through front legs, check! 

I really do not know what he is doing here.  Seriously, what is he doing????

Front legs tucked completely under him in order to make honk snoring louder. 

Stuffie love-exhaustion. 

Melvin often leaps out of reach when Jake starts ‘loving’ things.  

Being adorable is hard work.  

He managed to cover himself.  

I love his wrinkles so much!  I have to keep from squeezing him too hard. 

And this guy — love, love, love. 

More love. 

We interrupt our regularly scheduled updates on Melvin and Jake to bring you news of a new puppy in our family!  This puppy only has two legs, which means it will be SOME TIME before M&J meet her, but that won’t stop them from shopping for her.

Congratulations to my brother and sister-in-love!  The world opened up wider yesterday and love rushed in.  She’s perfect in every way and our family is so blessed!  

I give you puppy E! We all handed over a piece of our heart to her.

When I posted the photos last Wednesday of the boys in costume, Melvin’s ‘preferred’ costume had not arrived yet. Additionally I was worried about Jake’s Snookie costume being too PG-13 for the kids.  So the boys did a brief fashion show, complete with Melvin in his awesome-yet-very-hot costume that did in fact arrive on 10/31!  (He actually had the Fire Dog costume on when the real one arrived).

He was not feeling this costume. 

At this point in getting Jake dressed I realized he was in fact in drag. 

Snookie or Keith Richards?  Who really knows!

And then his REAL costume arrived and he felt much more pride in wearing it!!! He is the King of my heart.  

A front door sight you do not see too often.

And one more time before this one is retired. 

The boys did great on Halloween.  They sat by the front door (I didn’t make them wear their costumes), while I sat on the front porch and handed out candy.  Me being outside meant the doorbell was avoided so it was a pretty calm night for everyone — even Snookie and the King.

Let me just say…you’re welcome!  And to be honest, these might be the only shots I can get because neither of them were amused at my costume choices.  Melvin’s original costume (a lion mane) has not even arrived yet so we had to go with plan B for him.

I give you Fire Dog and Snooki…

There are a few theories about what happened to Vincent Van Gogh’s ear.  I’d like to add one to the list, maybe he had allergies and itched it off.

Sunday night, I noticed there were drops of blood, that led to more drops of blood, and wait, what is that on the blanket, oh right, more blood.  Your mission if you choose to accept it (and uh, yeah, you’re obviously going to want to figure this one out) is:  Where is the blood coming from?

I looked at both boys, neither showed telling signs that would suggest who was bleeding.  In fact, they both were snuggled and comfy.  I started with the little one, short hair, tiny body, I could rule him in or out quickly.  It wasn’t him.  I moved onto the big guy, I checked nails, paws, legs, stomach, nubbin, back, head and mouth.  Nothing.

I double checked that it wasn’t me.  I went to wash my hands.  When I came back, there was more blood.  It was next to Melvin — where hadn’t I checked?  I lifted one of his ears, and (insert gag and gasp) there it was.  He had scratched his ear up, and on the inside ear flap was a gash, that cut deep into him.

I went to my satellite vet office (the kitchen) and got gloves, antiseptic wipes and Animax (the one topical medication I would choose to take if I knew I would be stranded on an island with a dog).  I headed back up to the examination room (the bedroom) to find my patient (Melvin man) already asleep on the table (my bed).  I ascertained by his sleeping that this was not a 911 on the pain front, check. Melvin is the best patient, he has complete faith that whatever I am doing to him, no matter what the discomfort level he might feel, must be necessary.  I cleaned his ear, the gash looked much deeper but less gory once it was clean.  I applied Animax.  I sat and waited to be sure the medicine soaked in (yeah,that’s right, I’ve met you before Melvin. The moment I turn around you will have found a way to lick the medication off your own ear — or, you might even allow the little guy to do it for you).

We saw the vet on Monday night. He’ll have a scar but otherwise my wannabe Van Gogh will be fine.

We made it a family trip to the vet, mostly because I love torture and exhaustion…

Yes Jake, that is why I bought you the car crate, so you could stand up facing backwards while we are driving.

“Where did they take my brother?”

I think they were hoping we’d go somewhere more exciting. 

If there is one thing I’m certain of, animal emergencies almost always occur one minute before the vet closes OR over the weekend.  This weekend, our dog sitter V was across the street watching puppy Charlie.  Charlie ended up getting sick and needed to go to the vet.  The regular vet was closing and thought he should go to the emergency vet.  Off we went.

While in the emergency vet waiting room, I was reminded how much I love those who love animals.  I go to the human doctor a lot, and I can assure you that there is very little talking that occurs in the waiting room among patients. If I asked someone why they were there they’d prob tell me to eff off, stand up and move seats.  That is not the case at the vet, there is an immediate bond, in fact the bond is so strong that it forms before you even arrive.

We were in the waiting room for 20 minutes.

• I spoke to the owner of a sweet-faced lab who had stopped eating.  She had rescued him.  She lives one mile from me.  There is a chance we’ll be on each others Christmas cards list moving forward.
• There was a guy with a cat emergency.  Despite not loving cats, he needed a hug, so he got one.
• The owners of a very sick bloodhound told me stories of previous bloat and the challenges of owning a giant breed dog. Despite countless emergencies, they wouldn’t have it any other way — this one was in fact their third of the breed!
• We sat by as an elderly woman was told it might be time to think about what her 16-year-old cat’s future holds.  The woman was going to go home that weekend, with her cat, and decided.

We showed each other photos, we got each other through the time in the waiting room. We shared a language, of love.

Puppy Charlie spent the night at the ER and is back at home with his family.  We are hoping the other animals are too!

A migraine kept me from posting this yesterday but have no fear, Wordless Wednesday is taking over Thursday! 

Follow us @tholupka_ohmelvin

Welcome to one of my most favorite weeks!  This my friends is the week of (the weatherman best not be screwing with me) the first frost!  Yes, I love fall.  It’s good hair weather, it begins boot season, it’s visually lovely and cheeks take on a rosy glow.  But the first frost, that is the day we dance and sing!  Frost puts half of Melvin’s allergies into hibernation!  It’s a magical time, it happens LITERALLY overnight.

Thanks to medications, regular baths, baby-wipes and a strict diet, Melvin is now only twice as itchy as other dogs.  From the first frost to spring, HE IS ALMOST A NORMAL AMOUNT OF ITCHY (as long as we keep those things up and add a humidifier).  He even goes from being red, to only moderately pink.  Woohooo!

And this year, Jake is with us for the first frost.  Itchy dog #2 will get relief now also!  We shall dance extra and sing a little more loudly!  WOOT!

You can see that the boys share in my excitement!  

Melvin hates the rain.  Jake doesn’t love the rain but he is easier to coerce outside, probably because he thinks squirrels and frogs and birds are still out there, despite the water falling. But Melvin, he does not even care if a giant-peanut-butter-covered-steak-dinner-with-fries is at the end of the driveway – homeboy don’t like getting wet.

This wetness issue has grown in scope lately, as Fall has arrived, the grass is chilly and damp each morning.  Thus, Melvin refuses to walk on it.  He will stand on the sidewalk, look at the grass, decide it looks wet, look back at me, then the grass, then me, repeat, repeat, repeat.  If I somehow manage to ‘nudge’ him into the grass, he freezes, unable to move.  He then tip toes back to the sidewalk, almost as if the grass is hot coals.  Once he’s to safety, the staring starts again.

The biggest issue of all is that: he has to ‘go’ and he knows he has to ‘go’.  Although he won’t go into the grass, he also won’t head back inside either.  So I do what any NORMAL dog person would do, I verbally plead with him.  I head into the damp, wet grass. I plead some more, often with treats.  And then, I have to play the one card I know he can’t ignore.  I lean down and I show Jake affection, just Jake, in public.  Boom, Melvin in grass, doing what he needs to do just to make the madness stop.

I’m genius. The end. Have a great weekend!

I only like grass if it’s dry…

Olympic sleeping champions practice extensively…

He gave me the stink eye when I was taking my time leaving for work…

Jake and his chins were excited for Sunday’s game.  The excitement was short-lived…

My lap dog…

Their life is rough and they don’t care who knows it…

Jake still works at NYC Transit…

You can follow us @tholupka_ohmelvin !  We’d love to follow you back!

Jake has gotten a lot of blog time lately.  He’s funny, he eats weird stuff and his bodily noises break ordinances.  Where Jake is the fun and loud, hot pink chair, Melvin is the subtle, stylish, timeless wallpaper.  He’s the background to all my days.  Yes, I enjoy decorating analogies.

Since Jake’s arrival, Melvin has gone from fairly indifferent to moderately tolerant.  In other words, I think he pretty much feels the same way about Jake today as he did when he met him almost a year ago. This is Melvin’s typical approach…

If Jake is on the carpet whipping a stuffie around, go to higher ground:

If Jake is looking for you, hide:

If your mother finds you, plead with a sad face so that she doesn’t tell Jake where you are:

Since finding out that Jake likes stuffies, and since the bird and frog incidents (he ate two live baby frogs last week folks – I was going to post about it but sometimes you need to just let deviant behavior be) I went out and got him some new toys (namely birds and frogs). The good news is that Melvin is getting used to the squeaker noise.  The other good news is that Jake is full on smitten will all his stuffies and he spends a lot of time playing with them and dragging them from room to room and laying upon them.  This leaves him less time to pee on Melvin’s bed or to torment living creatures.

Jake introduces Rug to her sister-wife, Duck. 

What? We’re having a sleepover.  

Frogs. 

Come this way, my Pretty. 

Now, this way my Pretty. 

Hang on a minute, you are not the lightest duck.

Being a, stuffie killer lover is tiring. 

And the best one, I declared a time-out on stuffies.  Jake had other ideas. Classic Jake video: