Yo, it’s Jake.  The mother up and left me this week.  I mean we ascertained (yes I know what that means) that I have abandonment issues and anxiety over losing my brother and then she thought, hey, I have a terrible idea, and she up and left for the beach for a week.

What the what?

Anyway, I guess I’ll forgive her since she left me in the care of a really cool chick.  This chick smells a lot like my midday walker, D-money.  Apparently, my servant dog-sitter this week is D-money’s daughter!  That whole family must be hard-core addicted to Jake love and kisses cause at one point this week, I had a harem!  Here I am with D-money and my two other girlfriends her two daughters.

Here is a recap of my most momentous ‘mom’s-away-lets-partay-week’.

I showed my sitter my creeper moves. She was not detoured. I love her.

I buried a bone. 

I lunged.  

I hunted a duck. In my monkey diaper.

I looked behind me. 

And I took some private time.  I mean Jake can’t entertain 24/7. This ain’t vegas.