I’d like to say I don’t know why I never post here, but I do know. Losing Melvin and Jake back to back, was a lot of heartache, and this is where I came to try and make sense of that. The first year with Doug, I was grieving Jake, so even when I came here to share Doug antics, it was through the lens of a broken heart. But then there was a break in the loss department. I healed. Doug filled the house with mischief and zoomies. When Doug’s NCL diagnoses came, as much as I wanted to come here, I didn’t want to chronicle another loss. So I opted for Instagram. Where I can share Doug’s disease, but let photos and stories paint his days with fewer words needed.

But I do miss coming here. Do people even blog anymore? 😂

Doug is living his very best life. As it was always meant to be. We are four years into his NCL diagnosis, which means he has outlived his original diagnosis by three and a half years. He remains powered by joy, he just needs my help to get around more. Jake trained me well. I help Doug with steps, getting on and off the couch, steadiness when he’s pooping (his hind legs are pure shit, which has nothing to do with the NCL but very much impacts his struggles with NCL).

He helps to keep me focused on what matters most. Love.

Last year at this point, I didn’t think Doug would be here for holidays this year. NCL progression is not linear. It’s random as F. A few months ago, we were thinking it was time. But cooler weather arrived, and Doug had a significant bounce back. NCL is a monster and a thief and it’s really hard to navigate – physically for Doug and mentally for me. The vets remind me he is dying, but we are built to focus on living. This has probably been my hardest journey. Watching Doug decline, but shutting that off so I can celebrate what we still have. I cry. I have days when NCL is the loudest voice in the room. I don’t pretend he has forever, but I do always remind myself that we all only have today. Doug makes today beautiful and perfect and it’s everything.

Some milestones:

• Bob is still here and thriving.
• Doug is eight now.
• Doug has been with me longer than Melvin was.
• We have built an NCL family. There are 12 families now. We all feel far less alone now. We’ve lost a few of the dogs, but we will be part of this little family forever.
• Doug uses Jake’s stroller sometimes.
• Oliver, the Frenchie that we sent Jake’s wheelchair to, recently crossed the rainbow bridge. Oliver’s mama sent the wheelchair to the next Frenchie in need. That was always my hope. That it would continue.

So to summarize, love still lives on. ❤️