At Jake’s Oncology appointment, the oncologist was deciding how our future visits should go. She suggested that we be seen every three weeks, but alternate between oncology and neurology. Every three weeks took me by surprise, to see either of them. I was extra confused about why we would go to see neurology (at all). They had pretty much said ‘good luck’ (in the best possible way), as there are no treatment options for Jake’s spinal condition. We do laser therapy and electroacupuncture to help his good parts, but from a neuro standpoint, their work is done. So I asked: ‘I was told there was nothing they can do, why would we see them’. Her reason for suggesting we switch off between oncology and neurology is that they (the medical team) might not know for sure what is the cancer spreading and what is his spine when in comes to decline. So I challenged: “his spinal condition is not painful, in fact it helps some with pain since he has limited feeling in some parts. But his cancer is known to be painful, often very painful. So won’t pain be an indication”. She said, it should be.
I then did what I often do when it comes to making hard decisions for the boys, I took the lead: ‘I’m not going to be looking to you or neurology for guidance on when it is the right time to let Jake go. I will know.’ I said it so matter-of-factly, it caused her pause. And then I think it caused (her) relief.
Our regular vet and I have a system. She tells me when we have done all we can medically, and I take that knowledge and add it to what I know. For me, once we have done all that we can, the question is no longer medical. The decision is based on the science of love and joy. From the day I took all three dogs in I made them a promise to do right with the power to make decisions for them. We do this daily for our dogs, but when it comes to this last decision, well nothing feels so insurmountable.
So pain will be an indicator. Also, Jake’s cancer is at the bottom of his spine and extends down his left hind leg. So deterioration in that leg only will be a sign. Also, since it’s a soft tissue cancer, it may invade his bladder or colon so if he stops being able to go potty, that will be a sign.
No one wants to think about these things but for us, in order to not dwell on it 24/7, we have to outline the medical parameters so we can get on with the joyful task of living. It’s definitely a challenge to not mourn them while they are still alive, but with Jake, I’m trying to save all that for later (or at least until the middle of the night once he’s asleep).
The only thing we dwell on right now is how much peanut butter we have left.
Jake started radiation. As quickly as he starts it, it will be over. He only has to do three days. To be honest, I’m much more concerned (at this point) about him being under anesthesia three days in a row. I can worry about the side effects of radiation after that. The Oncology Service knows what they are doing. I dropped him off and his dedicated tech came out to get him. When I picked him up, he was carried out to the car with his belongings. It’s an awesome practice and I have complete faith in them. Since Jake has MRSP, he’s in a more secluded area which all know works out just fine. No wonky lunging at other cancer patients!
Jake is having a relatively new form of radiation available to pets called, Stereotactic radiation (SRT). This radiation benefits Jake (personally) in two ways. 1. The protocoled radiation treatment for Jake’s cancer is 20 days of consecutive radiation (and anesthesia). That much anesthesia felt worrisome to me (and his medical team) since he is smooshy faced and has breathing issues. He is getting almost the same amount of radiation benefit in just 3 days. 2. Fewer side effects (hopefully). If you are at all interested, here is a blurb about it (copy credit to The Veterinary Cancer Center). If you are not interested (we forgive you!) you can skip down.
Stereotactic radiation (SRT) and Intensity Modulated Radiation Therapy (IMRT) are becoming more readily available for animals. In the past, traditional radiation therapy to treat cancer in pets would usually result in significant side effects and many owners would decide not to pursue treatment because of this. IMRT and SRT are changing the way that we are able to treat cancer in pets, and they have great potential to improve both your pet’s quality and quantity of life.
What is Stereotactic Radiation or Stereotactic Radiosurgery?
Stereotactic radiation, also known as stereotactic radiosurgery, involves delivering a small number of large radiation doses to the tumor, in the hope of causing maximal tumor damage while limiting the dose to the normal tissues. Usually this is done in 1 to 3 treatments over a short period of time. With stereotactic radiation, a large number of beams are directed at your pet from all different angles and the shape of the radiation beam is changed, during treatment, to deliver radiation where it is needed most.
What tumors can be treated with SRT?
SRT can be used to treat a variety of tumors, including brain tumors, pituitary tumors, nasal tumors and other tumors involving the head and neck. It also can be used to treat tumors of the spine and some parts of the abdomen or chest. It can be used for pets when daily visits and anesthesia may be too dangerous.
Prior to radiation, I had our consult with the nutritionist (who I LOVE). The plan is that I will keep Jake on his raw diet as long as he does not exhibit any digestive issues. If he has a hard time during radiation, I will give him a bland diet (cooked lean turkey or beef and white potatoes), then go back to raw. If he develops any ongoing digestive upset, we will change his diet to a cooked/balanced diet that the nutritionist will outline for us. You know I love a good plan!
For now, Jake is doing great. One day down, day two in progress!
Here is Super Jake after day one, keeping watch over his kingdom.
One year ago today, the day after Melvin’s birthday, I took Melvin for a ultrasound at a specialist and heard the words ‘I have terrible news, I’m so sorry’ followed by, ‘…probably only days’, when I asked how long he had.
The days that followed were the some of the most impossible moments I have known. Those weeks when the prognosis was ‘any moment’, I was grasping at time, and love and air… I never knew how dark the night could be. I spun, out of control. I was afraid to leave him. I tried so hard to hold onto him and love him.
The knowledge of pending death is confusing and overwhelming and terrible and sad and you are forced into mourning, before the death even occurs. One year ago, we weren’t given good news, much time, or any treatment options. But we were given love. So much joyful love. And that love is everything and trumps anything and everything we weren’t given. Seriously people, there are no guarantees. We suggest love. Love is a solid plan. Seek love, give love, love love. Create reasons for others to love, high five love, shower in love. Let love own you and guide you and let it light up all the darkness.
Love can get help you through. Love can heal you. Love lives on.
Melvin was diagnosed a year ago – Jake was diagnosed 19 days ago. 8,328 hours separate the words ‘he has cancer’ between them. Brothers in life. Brothers in death. Brothers in cancer. These two have an odd sense of timing and really take their bond to the extreme!
Thankfully, last March does not define all the others. It does not represent this March. Even though we are embarking on a cancer journey at the same time this year, we have opportunities we did not have last year. Last March is over. This March has just begun.
“Hey, psssst, lets get cancer one year apart.” “Ok, sounds fun!”
Winter has finally arrived here! I love winter. For the first time since last year, I got winter coats out. Today, I was out and about and put my hands into my first-worn-coat pockets. My walk came to a stop and joy washed over me. One pocket was full of Melvin’s hypoallergenic treats. In the other pocket were two rolls of poop bags.
Insert beautiful sigh and smile here. These are the moments when I know he’s here.
I have rounded a corner with my grief. I don’t know when it happened. I had anticipated Christmas being hard, the same way I anticipate the one year anniversary of his death being difficult. But since the new year, the grief has lessened its gravitational pull on me. Melvin simplified my life. His existence was almost spiritual to me. It calmed me. It helped me to breathe deeply. He grounded me. And over the past few weeks, as my grief has shifted, I’ve felt a return to that simplicity. I feel Melvin guiding me, back to my happy place.
I still cry now and then, i don’t think that will ever change. I proudly own my grief. I lost something incredibly important to me. Never apologize for learning to live after great loss. But the tears do not sting the way they used to. And 100% of the time, they are wiped away by a memory that makes me laugh. Healing has a way of silently taking over.
Keep chasing joy.
I’ve been going through my tens of thousands photos and videos. I have avoided Melvin visuals for long enough now. I go through them slowly, there is no need to binge watch memories, they deserve a slow waltz. The timing must be right because I’m loving every moment of the dance down memory lane. It’s not just joyful to see Melvin, it’s a reminder that all those bits and pieces make up the whole of my life and I’m really honored I get to keep going on this journey for, with and because of Melvin.
These are the dogs that Jake and I have met in the past few months.
This is Stanley. I loved Stanley. The reason Stanley was ultimately was not for us was because in his first life, he was chained in a basement and his new life, he was learning how much he loved to play! Jake can’t play, his spine can’t take it. Stanley deserved a life of romping, so we (me and the rescue group) decided that he was better off in a different home. A few weeks later, Stanley was adopted!
This is Norman. Norman was awesome in just about every way. Norman also happened to be the dog that alerted me, and our trainer (which prompted a visit with a behaviorist), that something (not so great) was going on with Jake. Norman was in our house for four days. Jake flipped out the entire time Norman was here. They were separated the entire time but just knowing Norman was in the house had Jake ramming doors and gates and walls trying to get to him. Norman was terrified of Jake (hell I was terrified of Jake too). The only way I could get Jake to stop flipping out when Norman was here, was to take Norman into the garage, then take Jake upstairs (making him think Norman had left) and putting him to bed. The moment Jake woke up and sensed Norman was still here, the ramming started all over. Jake rammed and scratched so much in those four days, there was blood. I really loved Norman but Jake being unable to come down at all made me realize that we still had some work to do. Norman got adopted the day after his visit here ended!
This is dog #3. I can’t even recall his name! We met this (type of) dog on the recommendation of our behaviorist. To set Jake up with a Melvin like dog (light-colored and soft looking). Jake actually did ok with this dog on our meet walk but not so much when we neared our house. Either way, I didn’t feel like this dog was right for me and he didn’t have a ton of patience for nice-Jake so he was probably not going to love not-so-nice Jake.
And finally, Gus. To this day, Gus not being here haunts me. Jake bit Gus twice (within the same 4-5 seconds)(and even though Jake has worn down teeth and didn’t leave a mark, poor Gus yelped both times). This was another situation where had Jake calmed down AT ALL while Gus was here, I would have adopted Gus and made it work. But Jake foamed and flipped and rammed doors and walls and furniture the entire time Gus was in our house. Until you have been in a situation where you cannot calm your dog down for hours upon hours, you don’t know how alarming it can feel. (sidenote: Gus was adopted!)
I know many of you are thinking, it takes time. And I wholeheartedly agree with you. Jake and Melvin were separated for two weeks to start and Jake was then on tie down for two additional weeks. And I’m willing to separate for as long as it takes. But when I tell you that Jake can’t calm down, I’m putting it mildly. He is like a wild, rabid, caged animal when these dogs are in our house. I had trainers come over and asses him. I talked to behaviorists that told me even in extreme cases where a dog reacts, they eventually do calm down (even if they re-escalate later). Jake’s reaction is more stuck on loop, of reacting. If Jake had lunged the crate or the gate but then went and laid down, and then rammed the crate, and then went and laid down, I would have ten dogs by now!
I don’t know what happened between Melvin and now, but my guess is that, Melvin was more to Jake than just a brother. I think as Jake’s mobility continued to fail, he still felt safe with Melvin. He does not seem as confident now. I believe Jake can find that again but I’m not sure what the path to that looks like for us. There are others that feel that he may not find it again, that as his mobility fails, Jake changes. At the end of the day, it’s Jake’s safety I worry about, he can barely stand up, so any altercation that might be brought on by him would result in his own injury. I also worry about Jake’s mental state when a dog is here. You know the kid in Target who has a meltdown because they are tired and hungry and can’t have everything in the toy section? They are flailing and screaming and arching their back to get out of the cart and the parent would give anything for it not to be happening or for their child to not feel inconsolable. That is Jake, the entire time a dog is here.
I think you guys know that I am willing to go a pretty far distance for my dogs. And had Melvin and Jake had an issue where living separate lives became a necessity, I would have done that. For them. But I’m not in that mindset (crate and rotate forever) at this point for Jake and a new dog. And all signs so far have suggested that is good possibility with the dogs we have met. To those of you that eternally crate and rotate…I stand in awe of you.
We are still working on this! Mostly because, I’m feeling a bit selfish — I couldn’t need another dog more. But family is about compromise. So we shall see. And I share this with you so that you know what our path looks like. Even though Jake and I are on the same journey, sometimes we take different routes to our destination.
Today is Jake’s gotcha day! Three years ago, the little noise maker joined the family and life was never the same!
Jakie, I don’t for one minute pretend to know what or how you think. I have never had a dog that I know so little about their thought process. I’ve tried to unlock the mystery of your brain but you are too complex to decode. So instead, I have just accepted all things you.
You are my little comedian, my giant-tiny dog. You are so patiently impatient. It’s funny to look back on photos of you and not see a diaper or see you out on a walk, what a ride these three years have been. You have overcome and preserved through more physical challenges than I can even count. You are my little engine that could. I know that life has been a bit unfair to you, but you embrace our motto of ‘it is what it is’ so very well.
When you and Melvin became the dynamic duo, I never really gave a thought to either one of you experiencing the loss of the other. I think that you had it harder than Melvin would have had it, not because he didn’t love you, but because he had an exuberance gene that guided him. You are a little more…dark. You had a tough time this year and you and I have bonded over shared heartbreak. My love for you has grown, not because Melvin is gone, but because you were you through it all. Vulnerable, sweet you.
Now…if we can harness that delightful side of you with other dogs, that’d be great! This year, we need to add to our family. Work with me bud!
I’m not sure what the next three years will bring, but I do know that we’ll rock it together.
I am thankful for coffee, forgiveness, my family, my friends and Jake. I’m thankful for every Natures Miracle Product, even the ones I don’t know about. For sunglasses, thoughtfulness, hugs, kisses, goat cheese and pizza. I’m thankful for kids named Josh, Maddy, Emmie, Hadley, Blake and Lane. I’m grateful for memories and hope and faith and happiness and the ability to choose the direction of each those. I’m thankful for those who give more often than they get. I’m grateful that love-lives-on. For a group chat on FB with four gals that must.love.dogs. For vets and vet techs and people who want to grow up to be vets. For those who have found their passion and those who never stop looking. I’m thankful for Brussels Sprouts. For those who fight for our freedom. For dog diapers, ice cubes, The Container Store and Sharpie pens. For the ‘On this day’ feature on FB, for music and contagious laughter. For Melvin. For Joy. I’m thankful for this blog community, you saved me this year. Most of all, I’m thankful for love.
Happy Thanksgiving, from me and my little turkey!
Just because I have a neck waddle does not make me a turkey.
I love Christmas. I love decorating for Christmas, and hosting gatherings and hunkering down with family for all things, well, Christmas. But it feels different this year. Distant, yet choking me at the same time.
I usually decorate the day after Thanksgiving but this year my mindset was…’let’s just get it over with’. I’m a bit, apathetic. Apathy is sometimes quicker than sadness or anger.
I decorated the entire tree without a single thought to where any of my ornaments came from. I have never decorated the tree and not meticulously given those moments to each ornament, for every ornament on my tree is different and special and rare (to me). But this year, I had to get to from point A (the box) to point pain (Melvin ornaments) to point just-get-it-over-with.
I know it won’t always be this way. Hell, I’m pretty sure that Joy is knocking on my heart as a type this, it’s just the first milestone in this year that is much harder than I expected. Maybe it’s because I bought up a ton of ‘Joy’ decorations over the years (like decorations that say ‘joy’) because Melvin personified Joy and now I have this Joy collection and it’s mocking me. Joy can apparently be hurtful!
I decided to not do stockings this year. That works out in so many ways – no one stocking is missing if they are all missing and I don’t have to worry about them catching on fire. Win, win.
I know this trip through Apathyville will be quick. It’s just not who I am. I knew going into this that he was gone, but knowing something and living some moments are two completely different things. Grief is like being on a train, you look out the window and wonder where you are at but you have faith that you must being going to the right destination. Then the next time you look out the window you know exactly where you are.
I did my card two weeks ago, again, to get it over with. I was so focused on a card that Melvin wasn’t on that I reused a Jake photo that I used on our card two years ago! Mom of the year! Sorry Jake, but I was trying to find one where your eye was not scary and I had to go back pretty far for a landscape photo!
It must be funny because I’m currently smiling. Every day is hard and easy and sad and remarkable. I accept that Christmas will be lovely and difficult. Jingly and quiet. Peaceful and punk.
There will be Joy. But there will not be any ‘Joy’ signs because they are in a box in the basement with all the stockings!
For a dog that can’t walk very well, Jake makes up for it with magic.
He used to be able to jump up onto the couch but now he needs me to air lift him. The funny part is that he still wants to do the jumping motion so I need to be on my game because ready or not, he’s leaping and if I’m not ready, he crashes into the side of the couch and flips over. Lesson: if you can’t do something and need assistance, you can still pretend you can do it and that no one is actually helping you. Just be sure your invisible helper is ready.
Once on the couch, he can do this to himself with the blanket. I’m never really sure how he does it, I’ll come into the room and find him this way or look over and be like ‘whaaattttt?????’.
Jake’s body is so odd. When it comes to clothes or jackets, he needs a Large or XL in the neck and chest area but he needs a S or M for body length. He’s the biggest, little dog around. When it came time to get him belly bands, the sizing struggle was so real.
His body measurements for belly bands suggest he’s a Large. But it’s a tight Large so once you add a pad of some sort, it’s cutting off his circulation. No bueno. But an XL won’t stay on. Equally as bad. Plus, most of the belly bands we tried either didn’t/couldn’t harness ‘little porn star Jake’ or the velcro closure was too heavy and his back couldn’t hold up under the weight. The months of trialing belly bands left me with so much pee on the floor and not much wine left in the bottle. If it were not for Jen at Sirius Republic, I’m not sure where Jake I would be. Jen got word of my plight. She wrote to me ‘I think I can help’. I read those words over and over and then I squealed knowing that my village had grown in the greatest of ways! The struggle was over! The pee was contained! Yay us!
Jen made us CUSTOM BELLY BANDS! Custom, made just for Jake and his Kim Kardashian body! Best part, they are super cute! if you are going to contain pee, you should at least look good. For almost two years now, Jen has been sending us belly bands (I call them sanity panties) and now…
YOU CAN ORDER THEM!
They are now available to all the peoples with all the boy dogs who need them! (Sorry girls, your bands are a bit too complicated). Click here to see the supermodel in them and to order your very own! I cannot stress enough how incredible the bands are and how well they work. Just like with anything, custom fit always wins! Jen’s got’s lots of waterproof fabrics to choose from, build your collection today!
I use washable pads inside our belly bands (these). If you go the washable pad route, you’ll need to add a few inches to your measurements with Jen because the pads add some bulk. If you go the sanitary pad route, you can just do the true measurements.
Since we love Sirius Republic so much and we love you guys so much, tell us about your dog that could use one of these bands (in the comments below) and we will pick a lucky winner to get one for free!
Here is a peek at our newest additions, and of course, the supermodel!
Time for more giving! This month, we are adding a little something! Keep reading to find out more.
As a reminder, each month, we do a giveaway that celebrates the unique nature of our furry friends. There are monthly categories (so far we have done: seeing impaired, hearing impaired, less than four legs, and anxiety dogs). If your dog does not fit into one month’s category, do not fret, we have a pretty all-encompassing list for the entire year – we eventually got you covered!
November is Adopt a Senior month! My favorite month of all! So this month we celebrate: Senior dogs! Enter your senior and tell us what you love about them! If you rescued them as a senior, share that too! Have a foster that’s a senior, enter them! You know this household is on the hunt for a senior that Jake will accept! This entire endeavor of Melvin’s Project Joy, is the result of the love I have for my senior angel.
Here is how it works…
This goes beyond just a giveaway (but yes, there is of course some loot!). Our goal is to remind each other that we are all in this crazy life together. That through these giveaways, we can all bring empathy into play. As you share stories of your senior dogs, read the stories of others. You may nod, and realize just how much we all have in common. You can message others and share your experiences and advice. Friendships will form. Support can be shared. Joy will be spread!
Share your senior dog (your dog’s name, a photo. and the story about their awesomeness) on either our Facebook page containing this post, on Sirius Republic’s Facebook page when they share this post. If you are not of the Facebook world, you can email your info to ohmelvinyojake@gmail.com. No matter how you submit your info, you will be entered to win.
READ ALONG AS OTHERS POST. DON’T FORGET TO REACH OUT.
We will pick one female and one male winner at the end of November! And here is the little extra I mentioned, we will also donate some collars to a rescue group that focuses their LOVE and SOUL on senior dogs – THE MR. MO PROJECT! If you have some free time (or extra funds), hop over to their site and give back – they do the most amazing work! You can find them HERE.
I realize sometimes that Jake gets a bit of a bad rap. He attacks dogs I want to adopt, he makes meatballs almost every morning at 5am and because of him I own every pee scent remover known to the world.
Loving each dog is different. It’s all love but the process is not all the same. Melvin personified love so just to look at him, I felt it. He and I bonded over snuggling. With Jake, he makes me work for it. Jake and I spend a lot of time on his mobility tasks (either through training or me helping him get from point A to point meatballs.). I never had to call Melvin inside, he barely left my side. I have to chase Jake to come in if there is a squirrel, frog, bird or gnat within 40 miles of our yard.
Still, my love for Jake is as deep and wonderful as all the other loves.
Jake takes the issues the universe throws at him and he just rolls with it. His legs have gradually declined so most of it is something he can acclimate to over time. But there are some things, like going up steps or legs not working at all some days, where he is faced with an immediate change in ability. And he doesn’t freak out. He just sits, and stares at me, as if to say ‘show me how to make this work’. That stare, owns my heart. He knows I’ll carry him when he can’t make it, or I’ll show him how to scoot using his front legs. And once shown, he is moving forward, pretty darn quickly again. He is pretty heroic that way.
He and I bond over a lot of diaper changes. Getting a diaper on a dog is not what I would call fun for either participant. I know plenty of dogs that wiggle and run when diaper change time happens. Jake stands still and once the diaper is secure, he takes off. He knows the drill. I honestly think he senses how hard I work on him and makes some effort to make it easier on me. This is nice since we have many, many, many, so many more years of diapers.
He is incredible with kids. So flippin good. He was not alway like that but he has really come to be a dog I can trust with all kids. If someone asked me if their newborn would be safe on the floor with Jake, I would say yes, as long as they were OK with that newborn getting dog kisses and slobbered upon.
The only living creature who loved Melvin remotely as much as I did, is Jake. He and I are bonded in that we each carry of piece of Melvin with us. We are part of a 3-piece pie.
Jake will snuggle, as long as you pet him. If you stop to answer your phone, or itch your face, or take a sip of your drink, he gets up and goes. He does not see the value in laying next to someone just to snuggle, there has to be a payoff for him. I love that he is who he is.
But mostly, I just love his existence. He is a tender-hearted comedian who doesn’t give a crap but will crap meatballs without warning and who pees on the walkway and then gets offended that someone pee’d on the walkway. If you fall and can’t get up and want Jake to come over so you don’t feel alone, you better hope you fell down with a bag of treats, cause homeboy does not scurry over for free. There is nothing fake about him, he lays it all out there, and I love his honesty.
Who pee’d on the steps? Now you have to carry me inside.
Pet me woman or I’m outta here.
If you want this seat, give me something in return.
I don’t love Halloween. Adults in costume make me uneasy. This started in the womb, I was due on Halloween and waited several days to come out. Even then, I knew.
As an adult, I have come to like the kid part. Kids can put on costumes and come to my house and I will pour candy into their bags. And if they are my kids, with four legs, well you better believe costumes are a-comin.
Here is a little timeline of the torture the dogs have endured over the years.
Sid Melvin Vicious.
The King of my heart. Jersey Jake Snooki.
Mr. T and The Fool.
And this year, I give you…Cannibal Jake! A frog-dog who eats frogs! He lives it, so why not be it.
Where did this week go? I was down for two days with a migraine. I used to write about how awesome Melvin was on migraine days. That dog could hunker down in my bed and wait out even the longest migraine. He in some ways, loved that I was down for the count!
Jake is no different. Well he is a little different in that he’s a meatball maker and I get pretty nauseous/sick with migraines so the moment I get one I pray he holds off on in-house production. But like Melvin, if brought up on the bed or couch (Jake’s version includes 10,000 layers of blankets and pee pads and a double diaper), he will pretty much stay there until I say it’s time to join the world again. Dude will even skip meals, even though I would never make him do so.
His impression o f me with a migraine. I treat him with fire time. You better yet? Just checking if we are eating today.
After we healed, Princess Tutu came over for a visit! Her first question when walking in was: Is Melvin still in Heaven? Me: Yes. Her response: Ugh, enough already, he should come back! Me: Yes!!!!!! Then she needed to do an exam of Jake’s eye to be sure she felt it was healing properly. Then they had a kissing fest and we watched a Barbie movie. All was right in the world!
Anything over 75 and he’s too hot. Seriously, just standing outside in weather above 75 and he can’t take it. He has to wear a Kool-Collar WHILE HE IS RIDING IN HIS STROLLER. Riding. Not walking. He needs an ice filled collar to sit.
Anything below 70 and his eyes bug out and he starts shivering. He will not step paw into grass if it’s under 70 outside, I guess he fears frostbite.
True story: if it is above 75 or below 70, I have to PUSH him out the door. Otherwise he tries to pee on the door jamb area and come back in.
This week it ‘dipped’ down to 68. I love 68. I believe 68 means open the windows and dance around. Jake needed a sweatshirt, a blanket and the fireplace on.
We met the perfect dog on Sunday. Perfect. He is nine years old. Nine! A most wonderful age — I love me a senior! He was sweet, so sweet. The moment I met him he walked over to my feet and laid down on me. I was sold. His head, so big, His paws, giant. His eyes…I fell in love. This dog had lived a life in a crate — all day, all night. He was meant to come live here.
We met him at his foster house (he’d only been there a few days so he was not territorial at all) and he and Jake did great. So great that I came home and got all of Melvin’s stuff back out – his bowls, his beds, his collars. This dog was it.
We brought him over to our house that afternoon and he and Jake continued to do well on a walk in our neighborhood. I obviously use the term ‘walk’ lightly, Jake got carried to each patch of grass.
Then we moved into our back yard. Here is where the story starts to change. Jake did… just okay in the backyard. The foster was amazing, he just sniffed and gave Jake space. Jake on the other hand started showing signs of ‘why is he in my yard?’. Even though, Jake, it’s really MY yard. We separated them for a little while. Sometimes Jake gets tired and grumpy and his lack of mobility frustrates him so breaks are needed. No prob.
Eventually, we brought both dogs inside, same door, Jake first then the new dog and that is the exactly moment that Jake went from Jake to Rocky with a side of Ozzy Osbourne. Jake flipped out. Jake continued to escalated in his fury. He wasn’t unhappy here and there, he was fully enraged this dog was in the house and re refused to calm down. The only time he was remotely calm was when he passed out from hyperventilating. He didn’t really, but almost. The other dog, calm as could be. Only wanting to be near me.
We separated the boys and I got Jake cooled off and calmer. He calmed down mostly because he thought the other dog had left.
At one point when we were trying them AGAIN out back, Jake believed he could fly and apparently he could and he lunged through the air and bit the poor guy’s ankle. He easily traveled five feet in a single lunge. As the dog was yelping and thinking ‘what the f?’, Jake lunged at his face. Jake had graduated to Hannibal Lector. (Just to assure everyone, both dogs were on leash and Jake’s bites, albeit unexpected are not bites that can break skin, he’s teeth are worn down. But it did scare the dog. And me.). The odd thing is, the ONLY one who would get hurt, hurt real bad in scuffle, was Jake. Yet he was ready to rumble.
Had Jake been unhappy with just certain things… the dog near his bowl, the dog on the couch, the dog walking by him too closely. That would have been fine. Those things can all iron out over time. But Jake continued to escalate with every breath he heard the other dog take. He did not ever, stop hunting him. This is not the first time this has happened. We had another ‘possible dog’ here for four days; Jake had to wear a cool collar and cooling vest the entire time (even though they were separated) because he remained in such a state of fury that he couldn’t cool off on his own.
We agreed the dog should go back to the Foster’s house. Jake flipped out until the very moment the dog walked out our front door and then he laid down as if nothing had happened. Sort of like a serial killer. Calm and content.
Unconditional love does not always require words. I didn’t speak to Jake the rest of that night. And he refused to come into the same room as me.
Since Melvin died, Jake is a bit unpredictable. The good part is that he is doing much better with dogs outside of our home. The bad part is he is doing much worse with dogs inside of our home. He is becoming territorially aggressive. It’s not me, he doesn’t guard me. The house and yard though, apparently he has staked a claim. Like a pioneer.
I refuse to give up — although it is not without worry. This dog was perfect for both of us, even if Jake didn’t see it. He had a Melvin approach to Jake and that approach is key. And I respect that Jake gets a vote, but I also think that Jake needs to realize that the new dog is going to HAVE TO LIVE INSIDE OUR HOUSE.
We shall overcome!
I will crush you dog that comes into my house. Or cat. Or frog.
I’ve traveled halfway around the sun without you by my side. I won’t lie, it’s been tough, there were moments I wasn’t sure what direction I was even going in. It wasn’t forwards or backwards, it was more like sideways. If you were watching, I’m sure you had many ‘what the hell is she doing’ moments! This journey has felt long and short, at the same time. Long, because you aren’t here and your absence in my day is palpable. Short, because it’s only been six months, I have an infinite amount of journeys to take without you. I’m learning that, it will all be okay.
Perseverance is sometimes two steps forward, one step back.
Looking back on the days I got through is easier than looking forward to some of the days I have yet to face. I got through your gotcha day anniversary, the one month, the fourth month, that random Tuesday when sadness weighed me down and I didn’t leave the house. I’m getting through this letter. But I do dread some of the other first year milestones. Like Christmas. Those ornaments with your name on them and your stocking, they haunt me. At the same time, I know there will still be joy. This week, when the first frost hits here, Jake and I will go out and dance, in honor of you and your crazy allergies! In the same moment that time can feel hurtful, it often triggers a beautiful memory to see me through.
Even on our worst days, there was love.
People often ask me about that time post diagnosis, when you were here but I knew our time was short. What was that like? Sadly, a few of our friends are in a similar situation. In looking back, I can so immediately be transported to the unbearable anxiety I felt. The overwhelming fear of losing you at any moment was the hardest thing I have ever faced. I have never felt such fear, I hope to never face such fear again. But as my words explain that painful part of our journey with cancer, I’m always saved, surprised and proud of the love that washes over me to guide folks through that time with you. While it was the most terror I have ever felt, it was also by far the greatest love I have known. It was a month of true love. I got to love you and hug you and tell you every single thing that my heart had ever and could ever feel for you. As much as I will never let cancer define us, that month represents the very best of our love. And you handled that month like you handled your entire life – with exuberance and soulfulness and bravery.
It’s all about perspective.
I say it in almost every conversation about you…’he was the best dog’. I could write this blog for a million years and I would never be able to fully explain how perfect your existence in my life was. You grounded me, even when you refused to sit still. Your gravitational pull on me was strong and lovely and I’m honored that I was chosen for you. I’m so happy that your first family gave you up. Without them, we would never have been! We overcame every single thing that got thrown our way. In the end, I was disappointed that life gave you a cancer that had no treatment options for us, that there was nothing for us to try. For a duo that was used to staring down health issues, we were left spinning, out of our element. But on the flip side, you suffered very little. I’d do it all again with you, and I wouldn’t change a single decision. Your life was short, but sweet for certain.
I’m so proud of you.
I’m proud of so many things about you. That you went from a dog that leapt off the back of my couch into a closed glass door the day you came to live with me to a dog that was in every way, my zen master. That you were somehow the loudest and quietest moments of my day. That you could love so hard, with a single glance. Your exuberance reminded me to dance through this crazy life and your soulful, loving side taught me how deep a love for a dog could go. There is absolutely nothing I wouldn’t have done for you and I know that you felt the same for me. But I’m probably most proud of, and still profoundly sad to have lost, your support of all things Jake. It’s one thing to love me, bud! Jake didn’t make it easy on you. You never once lashed out at him, even when he was jumping up (remember when he could jump!) trying to bite your face. You just held your head up higher, offering him a tolerance I never expected. You were amazing. When he’d leap onto you from the couch, you’d just get up and move (closer to me/safety). You offered him the same understanding that I offered you. And through your understanding and patience, Jake found a home. Jake found a place to take shelter, curled up next to you. Jake found something to love, probably for the first time ever. And you guided him and loved him back and your beautiful brotherhood lit up my life like nothing else ever has. And as your body started failing you, Jake knew first. And he stood by you (literally) until I found out. Our little family got it right, bud.
#loveliveson
You will inspire me to spread joy, until my very last day on earth. Just the thought of you makes me want to do more. Melvin’s Project Joy, that little idea I had during a dark night with you, well it saves me and it has brought people together and we are celebrating dogs that have all kinds of unique traits, but are all ‘normal’ to us. Oh bud, the people who reach out to us and share what an impact you have had on them! I mean I get it, but I never expected it. It’s lovely, just like you. And in the spirit of love living on, it’s time for Jake and I to find our next family member. The thought of that has not been easy for me but that pull I spoke of earlier, the one that connects you and me, well I feel you pulling me out the door, the way you always did. Forward. We have been meeting dogs and to my surprise, Jake is doing pretty great. Do you have something to do with that? While there have been a few dogs that I thought he’d do ‘ok’ with, we haven’t met the right dog for us both yet. But we will! We need to harnesses up all this Melvin love, and pay it forward in the next beautiful way. I know it’s what you want for us. It’s what I want for us too.
Stay with me, my love.
I feel you with me all the time. I see you in Jake’s mannerisms, ones he learned from you. I hear you in music. I have conversations about you with a five-year-old that make me smile – in her world, you and Jesus make the sun come up everyday. I tend to agree with her. I see you when I close my eyes. Thank you for that, for leaving your heart with mine. I carry it with me everywhere I go. And thank you for being the most awesome dog, the most generous soul, the truest of all the loves. In this life, we won. You are my North Star, my beautiful purpose and the place where I park my gratitude. You are at the top of the best that this life has given to me and I’m forever thankful, grateful and blessed.
His middle name is ‘dirty deeds’. What does ‘exercise’ mean? I’m his elevator to the couch. Sleeping in the big bed during non-meatball making hours. Just staring at some photos. Of himself.
Follow us on Instagram @tholupka_ohmelvin ! Have a great Wednesday!
As a reminder, each month, we will do a giveaway that celebrates the unique nature of our furry friends. There will be monthly categories, so if you have a dog that falls into that one, you can nominate them to win. If your dog does not fit into this month’s category, do not fret, we have a pretty all-encompassing list for the entire year – we eventually got you covered!
This month, let’s celebrate: Dog’s who are hearing impaired. This could be fully deaf, deaf in one ear, missing an ear or ears (hopefully this does not exist outside of birth defects) and dogs with conditions that have them on the road to being deaf.
Here is how it works…
This goes beyond just a giveaway (but yes, there is of course some loot!). Our goal is to remind each other that we are all in this crazy life together. That through these giveaways, we can all bring empathy into play. As you share stories of your hearing impaired dogs, read the stories of others. You may nod, and realize you are not alone. You can message others and share your experiences and advice. Friendships will form. Support can be shared. Joy will be spread!
Share your hearing impaired dog (your dog’s name, a photo. and the story about their hearing) on either our Facebook page containing this post, on Sirius Republic’s Facebook page when they share this post. If you are not of the Facebook world, you can email your info to ohmelvinyojake@gmail.com. No matter how you submit your info, you will be entered to win.
READ ALONG AS OTHERS POST. DON’T FORGET TO REACH OUT.
We will pick one female and one male winner at the end of October!
You know when you read a lot of rescue stories and they are so inspiring. The dog had faced some sort of hardship and through rescue they were delivered to a beautiful forever where they left their old life behind and thrived in their new forever home. I mean not all rescue stories are like this but almost all surround the premise of: life is better post rescue.
Their stories are like hugs.
I feel like Jake’s story is low on the inspiration scale.
I met Jake three years ago this week. The adoption process took a while so he was not adopted until Thanksgiving but nevertheless, three years ago to right now, we met. At that point…
He could walk
He could hold his pee in
He could hold his poop in
He could see out of both eyes
Fast forward to today and Jake’s rescue story goes a little like this..
In his former life he was able to walk but now he drags his hind legs and has a wheelchair and a stroller.
With his first family, he was able to hold his pee, he now wears a diaper as he leaks pee all day.
Prior to coming to live here he used to poop in a back yard. Now he makes meatballs whenever and wherever with zero warning. Usually at 3am.
Although his eyes were always googly, in his first life they both worked. Now he has an eye that only sees light/dark.
So to sum it up, when he came to me he was 100% working. Currently he at 50%. Something seems a tad uninspiring about Jake’s rescue story!
I was compelled to write this post as a result of Jake’s last eye appointment where on our way out, he bonked his face smack dab into a closed-door because he couldn’t see it.
Laugh for us, don’t cry! There is still poetry in his story! He found true love in Melvin and me. And I vow to work until the age of 104 to support him.
Here are the very first photos of Jake on our very first meet up. A chance encounter with his then foster mom.
And the very first recorded photo of the dynamic duo. Little dude was just a visitor at that point. Can’t you just feel the love! Jake wouldn’t face the camera and Melvin gave me the stink eye.
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