Please don’t milk the dog.

Melvin loves people. I have complete faith in his intentions, they are kind and tender. He would never nip or bite anyone that didn’t nip or bite him first; even then I think he would opt for peace. That said, he pretty much views people, especially children, as bowling pins and he is a bowling ball of affection. There are times when he seems to really, really want to make it 100% clear that he is madly in love with someone in his path and to do this he will knock said person down (again, all in the name of love), pin them down (in his opinion standing on top of someone is the best delivery) and lick them and slobber upon them until they beg for mercy. If they pass out from the weight of him, he will lay upon them, just so they know they are not alone. They will still ‘feel the love’ when they come to.

If I hold him back from the above, which I do for anyone under 140 pounds (or anyone dressed nicely), he will moan the likes of Chewbacca. Today, upon him making this noise, I was asked the following question by a six-year-old:

“Is he a dying cow?”

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