A few days ago I was just a simple guy living a simple life. I followed Her around, ate food that’s been pre-digested and I licked my parts. Then, fame happened.
Listen, She’s got mirrors all over this joint, I know I’m hot. You put on the song “I’m Sexy and I Know it” and I’m the first one to set the dance floor ablaze. I’m. A. Good. Looking. Guy.
Apparently, I’m in some calendar. She’s keeps calling me Mr. Ides of March (She reads and I don’t so usually I just nod). I’m pretty used to be photographed, I mean every time I try to have some private time with the fan, She gets her eyephone and starts filming it. Can you say stalker?
I remember the day we did the photo shoot. They put me on a long, loose leash and walked me all over a farm. I would just smell and sniff and bark at the horses and every now and then the assistants would make a noise to make me look up and the camera would go clicky click. This went on for two hours. The camera lady was pretty cool, at one point, she laid in dirt to snap a shot of me.
The photo they choose for the calendar was one that Bev took while I was technically on a break. Clearly, I cannot take a break from adorableness. I was sitting down, the sun was shining, I looked up to feel the warmth and shut my eyes. Little did I know the camera caught it. Now I know how Kim Kardashian must feel.
Anyway, She calls this one ‘Stevie Wonder’. Apparently I do this a lot, close my eyes and look up and She is the only one who sees it. Until now.
The calendar is for sale on Amazon!