If you read this blog often enough, you know that I choose to see humor in things. I choose to laugh instead of cry (when appropriate). My personal Facebook profile photo says: choose happy. I have that to remind myself that at the core, that is who I am.
Some of our realities bite. I’m guessing that is true for every living creature on this great planet. I joke about meatballs and pee issues because, well because if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry hysterically. I wish Jake’s reality was different. I wish that he was not losing control of his body so early on in his life. I’m constantly asking the vet to confirm the process is not painful for him. When his legs give out, despite how often it happens now, he still turns to me with a terrified look on his face. Me crying won’t ease his fear. So I say ‘you’re ok bud’, and I believe that he is with all that I am. I set him upright and send him back on his way. There is no other choice, this is how life goes for him, and thus for me.
You know that saying, that you don’t get what you want, you get what you need. That has always rung true when it comes to Melvin. He is nothing that I expected yet everything about him makes me and my life better and brighter. He has shown me the ‘way’. From him I have learned that not every itch can or should be scratched. Recently, I realized the same is true about Jake. Every struggle, every challenge, he makes me a better person. My little comedian helps to maintain the humor. From him I now know that into every life, some pee must fall.
In full disclosure, I get frustrated. I don’t enjoy pee, it’s one reason I have no interest in the puppy years. I am a bit of clean freak and pee tends to haunt me. During the belly band struggle, there have been a lot of accidents. Sometimes I have to go outside and scream (at the universe, not at Jake). Carrying him is not always the easiest task either. I’m still nervous when I carry him down every morning. I get sad when he struggles.
But when frustration or sadness creep in, I’m reminded that he’s mine for a reason. It’s not just me getting him through, he is part of my path too. You commit to unconditional love and the universe is bound to test it. Reality may bite sometimes, but life is sweet and it’s too short to not seek out the joy every chance you get.
This past weekend was stressful. I tried so many different belly bands for Jake, I went out and bought toddler underwear for him (he’s not human so that was a huge waste of $$) and there were a lot of accidents/drippage. I walked outside to scream – a lot. But then, an angel read about my porn star’s issue, reached out, and said she might be able to help. More about that in a future post, but let’s just say this savior of ours brightened our day, lifted our spirit and is SIRIUS-ly awesome!