Sorry for the lack of updates. I was opting to live in some denial, which is difficult to do on the blog.
For example, when anyone asks me how long Jake has, I say six months. I still say six months, even though it’s been a few months since we got that prognosis. February 13th to be exact. Since Melvin’s cancer prognosis was in days, being able to say and hold onto months feels like such a long, short time. And since it is really anyone’s guess, six months is not a lie.
Then, we saw the oncologist again. Jake’s cancer leg is now not working, at all. In fact, that leg is making his hind right leg look like it could go to the Olympics. His cancer leg is in the back on the left, yet it drags sideways to the right, so his stronger-weak right leg has to ‘jump’ over it with every step.
Why universe? Why?
When discussing this with the oncologist, that clearly his cancer leg is his weak link, she shared concerns that perhaps the radiation did not benefit Jake as much as they hoped.
Wait. Stop. Pretend like you didn’t hear her.
Is that even a thing? That radiation wouldn’t work. I mean I guess it could be, she’s saying it but I just sort of thought it was a given.
She said if the radiation helped him, his cancer leg should not be weaker, it should in fact be a bit stronger. (I had thought radiation would just do its magic internally and slow the cancer down, his leg being better was not something I expected so this was a surprise to me). If nothing else, she said it should have stayed the same.
Pretend like you never came today. Go home and continue saying six months.
I asked what that did to our timeline, if perhaps the
stupid radiation did not do its freakin job. She said, let’s wait and see. That in some humans who have his form of radiation, there is residual swelling of the tumor for as long as 8 weeks (which in theory could make his leg weaker and then it could bounce back). I sensed she leapt into denial-land when she said that but I was happy to have company and we decided to wait and see. We are currently at just over six weeks since radiation.
The important thing is that his pain is under control. He is comfortable, he is still moving around (with the new back leg drag/hop), he is still eating, he still has joy in his eye (hamburger eye does not really show that much emotion!). Those are my metrics.
We could do another scan to see what’s going on but I don’t plan to do that. I don’t need to see his cancer. Knowing it’s there is enough. We are still resting our fate on love and joy and he is doing just fine in that area, so our infinite six months still stands.
Here is my little monkey, and his wonky, crazy legs.
Taking a break on his way out back.
Sitting pretty in pink.
Notice my expert wrapping job of cancer legs foot. That paw stays scraped up and bloody. We have tried every sock and baby booty known to man. I kid you not, we have hundreds of socks, shoes and booties. Nothing stays on him. Gauze, vet tape and Animax are our best friends.
Keeping watch from the shade.