When it comes to having a migraine with Doug in the house, I’m sorry to say it, but he’s the worst. I love him. But I can love him even when he is THE WORST.
Let me explain to you why this is so.
When I have a migraine coming on, you can sense it. People will tell me they can see it in my eyes and coloring (I turn gray). Strangers will ask if I’m OK. Melvin and Jake always knew. Helen Keller could have probably sensed it based on the fact that every living creature I encounter KNOWS. Except Doug.
There comes a point in the migraine when I can no longer remain upright. This is followed shortly by a time when I cannot stop getting sick. So I get up, get sick, try to lay down. Repeat, repeat, repeat for 36 hours.
Doug views this as an invite to torture me. When I lay down, he jumps up and tries to balance his whole body on my head. This is not a joke. He will try and put all four paws on my head to stand and balance there. Obviously this impossible so he will then sit on my head. With his butthole touching my hair (why?) and his other parts touching my face (gag) so this a definite NO, THANK YOU. But if I move, he will start all over.
So I stay still. It’s brutal. I can hear my soul crying at this point.
He will then try lay on me. But not like a normal dog would. I will be laying on my side in the fetal position and he tries to lay on top of my body ON HIS BACK. He literally tries to balance on his back on the side of my body, which is also IMPOSSIBLE so he falls off and tries 100 times more.
Migraine day is Doug’s version of Disney.
At this point, I get sick again. When I come back, it starts all over.
I do not want to put him in his crate just because I don’t feel well because that feels all sorts of wrong for him (it would really be great for me personally but moms sacrifice all the time so…).
I will then go to my bed and put up a gate to keep him from me and my bed.
Well you would think from his reaction that I was a delicious steak dinner and he hadn’t eaten in months. He sits at the gate and cries and barks then runs to the steps and runs back to see if reality has changed. This behavior gets stuck on a viscous loop.
The only thing more painful than all of this is when he comes into the bathroom while I’m getting sick. In Doug’s mind, the only reason someone gets on the floor is for his enjoyment. The fact that I’m crying and pleading for him to stop only revs up his exuberance more.
I had a migraine this week. I have bruises all over my body from Doug trying to bond with me during it.
Unconditional love hurts sometimes. What can you do. (this is not an actual question).
Here is Doug looking adorable so that you all will think I’m the crazy one and embellishing this to work in my favor.
How abouts you lay back down here and let me walk all over your face again?
Looking handsome on a walk with our dog walker (life saver), Denise.