Is Doug a weirdo?
Yes. Absolutely. Maybe. Do I love him no matter what? Of course.
- Doug is most attracted to, himself. He will go outside and pee. Then he will turn around and deeply (more deeply than what is considered normal behavior) breathe in the smell of his own pee. He will then walk a few steps, and go back and smell his pee, again. He has actually come in, then barked to go right back out, only to re-re-smell his pee.
- There are some things dogs do when they are sexually aroused. The common one for boys is of course the red rocket. But when they smell or taste something that arouses them, they do this really fast tongue flicking (like rolling r’s). Doug does this when he smells or tastes his own pee. I honestly think he is dating himself. I also think the relationship is going great.
- He whops off, in front of people. You may have other terms for this, like jerking-off. Whatever you call it, he does it. You might be sitting there, minding your own business, only too look over to him and he’s whopping off. Middle of the day. Middle of the floor. Zero shame or F’s given. (I have video of this but it is NSFW. Wait, that def makes me sound like a dog porn director but I am just an innocent bystander to all things Doug). I once caught him whopping off via the mudroom camera when I wasn’t home (this one is more suitable for work – I mean I guess, I don’t know). You may be wondering if Doug cares if I share this. He absolutely does not care. I live with him. I know.
Here is a photo of Doug and a separate photo of his, saucy, valentine. True love.