When love is hard.

There are a million different ways that love is hard. For me lately, it’s keeping Bob and Doug healthy and safe.


Loving a feral cat is complicated. There should be a support group. Hi my name is Tracey and I love my feral cat, but I’m also a control freak so my inability to control Bob’s movements and life’s journey drives me nuts. 

We had a polar vortex. Doug would barely go outside, hell, I barely went outside. But then there is Bob, stuck outside. No matter how much I insulate both condos, or how much food I put out, Bob is on his own out there. I crack the garage door and put food just inside in hopes he is brave enough to come in and realized the garage his heated. The food is always there when I go to check if this worked.

I lay in bed thinking and worrying about Bob. Mostly just due to that lack of control factor. Thankfully, Bob shows up after every thaw, so he must know what he’s doing. Any time I can catch him near the house, I always go put wet food out. He devours it right away. Wet food, is my new form of control. To ensure he always comes back to us.



Doug has started drifting out of my control area as well. When it came to Melvin’s health, we had a list of things to do. That included a list of medications for me to provide for him. And some of it was trial and error but we knew the issue (allergies and colitis) and we responded accordingly. And Jake, he had a shit-ton of issues, but they were all definable challenges that I was able to match with a joyful solution. Control at it’s finest.

The only time I didn’t have control over their health, was at the end. That’s just how the end goes.

Doug is hard to keep weight on. There is currently one food in the universe (that we know about) that doesn’t give him the poops. Once or twice a month he will throw up at night (for 2-3 nights), and then not again for a 2-3 weeks. What he throws up is not normal. From a scent perspective.

Oh excuse me for not throwing up lilies and sunshine.IMG_2268

We recently re-did blood work on him and his liver and cholesterol levels came back very low. Very, very low. So we did x-rays, and ultrasounds. Both came back fairly normal which was great because ‘liver failure’ was being thrown around a lot and if that’s what it was going to be we’d figure it out but also, universe, please just stop. We’d like to decline liver failure if possible.

I’m with (s)mother on this one, no thank you liver failure, take care nowIMG_2324

So here we are. Blood work metrics too low to suggest it’s nothing. But we’ve ruled out a lot of somethings. Also, the last liver ultrasound I went through was the day that we found out Melvin had cancer so it was nice to hear the words ‘liver looks good’. Always, whenever possible, balance bad juju with joy. It’s life changing.

So I guess next we consider scoping Doug’s digestive track. Believe it or not, NONE OF MY DOGS HAS EVER HAD SCOPE! We have a found a test that has gone untested in this house. Pure cray.

I predict my insides will look very sexyIMG_2339

We will keep you posted! xoxo

15 thoughts on “When love is hard.

  1. I had one of ours scoped, and found out he has IBD. It helped to have an answer because prior to that I had a dog that just had liquid poo, sometimes threw up, was REALLY skinny and occasionally changing his food helped. That being said, I hope Doug does NOT have IBD or something like that, cuz well honestly it’s a bitch. That being said, even with IBD my boy is about to turn 12. Of course he now has possibly addisons, a tumor on his lung and he’s decided leaping from place to place is a grand idea instead of walking like a normal dog so he falls a lot. Gotta love em!

      • lol no problem. I’m completely baffled about the new “lets jump from place to place” thing. It’s not helpful, he falls lots, but then if there is a piece of bacon involved, he walks like a normal dog.

  2. I am praying for you and Doug and for Bob. We just love our furry family members soooooo much that it hurts to not know how to help them (or control them). Waiting for a positive, victorious outcome. Sandra

    • They believe his esophagus is working properly, mostly because he had a ton of food in his stomach and none anywhere else. I’m hoping the scope will confirm this!

  3. I can’t believe there is a test your pups have not already had. Go Doug, you overachiever, you! And here’s hoping for a simple diagnosis and solution, post-scope.

  4. Well…we are on a similar path. My sister died last week, I took my dog down south with me to provide end of life care. Dog did not eat much, and to be frank I did not have the time to pursue the problem, at one point fed the dog a peanut butter sandwich. Came back home after 5 days and dog still not eating, then peeing red x3, off to vet, who took urine, probably a UTI per the vet and started on meds. The following morning after no food or water again, I took dog out for walk to try and collect another sample of urine, dog collapses….so does my heart, Scoop up 63# pitbull and off to ER. Admitted, given multiple meds, shock dose fluid resuscitation, kept in hospital, starting throwing around the world LYMPHOMA!!!! WTF…come to find out they can find nothing definitive except perhaps GI issues and if the meds don’t work or problem continues the dog will be scoped. In hindsight the dog has been choking/gagging at night at times. I dog share with my 86 year old mother, we know our dog. When I work dog is with mom. This post made me laugh, especially the Doug comments. And I needed a laugh. Hope Dougs’ scope goes well. My dog (love of my life) is home again, while not herself yet, continues to recover. Crossing my fingers for us as well. I am giving meds around the clock. Kudos to you for care taking all those years with Jake, while it is a privilege, it is also work. Bob looks great in the photo!

    • I want to put Doug in the car and drive to you. Your sister is so lucky and blessed to have had you and your sweet pibble there at the end. I’m so sorry you had to say goodbye. Then to have baby admitted and non welcomed terms thrown out. No, to all those words. I’m glad it’s not that, but digestive problems it seems, are impossible to pinpoint. Some days I just stare at Doug, willing his body to light up where the problem is. I hope you get answers soon! We can commiserate for sure. Sending you and your family some extra love and light. ❤️

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