I am going to share something with you that might send some of you into a tailspin, but hear me out, it will be ok.
We were denied approval to adopt a dog. Technically, we didn’t even apply.
Deep breaths, it’s ok. I would love to think we live in a world where everyone, everywhere is willing to give me all the dogs. And the truth is, 99.9% of the time we are approved. It’s usually me that decides it’s not a good fit. We have met a lot of dogs that the interaction between the dogs decided a NO for us. There were also seemingly great dogs that for whatever reason, I didn’t think were right.
It took me 7 months to choose a couch, I take commitment pretty seriously.
The story goes like this. Doug used to be great with dogs. Doug met a few dogs that did not love him and attacked him and he ended up in the ER one time but still he loved dogs. Then he had two extensive leg surgeries and he became not so lovey of dogs and started lunging at them.
Why did that dog Wolverine my face?
Now, he’s getting much better about being around his own kind again and he shows the most love and promise with puppies.
Ugh.
Puppies.
I know I am not the majority on this one but I’m just not a puppy person. There is not a single person who can suggest I am not willing to do the work with dogs. A day in the life of Jake has more than proven that. But puppies, and their chewing and their housebreaking and their need to be up when the rest of the world sleeps, make them, not for me. The argument that puppies grow up does not work with me like you would expect it too. It is that very theory, that puppies grow up, that has me proclaiming I shall wait until they do to adopt them. Some people ohhh and ahhh over puppies. I love me a good sugar faced senior.
So, puppies are a yes for Doug and a, maybe, for me.
The second part of this story is about my over abundance of caution. I had zero fear with Melvin meeting dogs. I brought Jake home and knew that Melvin would accept him by virtue of me being the one to bring him home. Melvin trusted me. I was 3000% nervous about every dog that Jake met because Jake was the most beautiful asshole that ever lived but he was extra assholey to any dog that was not Melvin. Every time. Every dog.
Please bring me more dogs to eat. 
Even Doug being great with dogs, I always want success for him. He’s a pit bull. He gets judged much harsher than others. So Doug might be doing great with another dog, but my caution knows no boundaries so it is always on high alert. Many will argue I’m too cautious. I will argue that there are far worse things to be.
When we met the puppy in question, Doug did great! Like super great. Like if I loved puppies we would have just said yes right away. During the meet and greet, I left Doug’s leash on. The foster mom suggested I could take it off, but – hello, my name is caution and I oh wait, what, yes I want to leave the leash on. Leaving it on is not about Doug. It’s about safety. I want to set both dogs up for success and safety. If you bring your baby over to my house, I will also leave Doug’s leash on because Doug will knock that baby over, sit on top of him/her and lick their face joyfully.
The puppy we met seemed to love Doug. This puppy is very people shy, but I felt like she did well with me.
I guess my caution raised a red flag. To be honest, I was having a hard time with this very young puppy part anyway, but the rescue reached out and said they felt we were not a good match for the puppy because of my over abundance of caution and/or them wondering why I kept Doug on leash. They wrote a nice email, and I wrote a thank you back and told them that there was probably no circumstance where I would come in, confidence ablaze, to make a puppy feel my assurance over being a responsible dog owner. Sort of an agree, to disagree.
Apparently having Jake’s life documented on the web does not in fact guarantee we will be approved for all situations.
We are not approved for cautious puppies. I am okay with this! I have said no to some really great dogs, it’s ok that someone says no to me. That little nugget was meant for someone else. And I get to hold onto my caution for longer!
If a puppy is meant to be, I’ll know when we meet.
Give me all the puppies, smother. 
I have the over caution issue too! My son thinks I’m to over my caution. Maybe I will sit down and write a blog about it. But for now I will be busy putting extra fencing up for areas where my fence is to low and to block off so no mishaps will happen when my son lets my elderbelle out. Also to finally let my 2 other dogs be free of the leed when I let them out. It will be a first for them.
Oh my gosh, I love this! This is me too! I told my best friend this story and the first thing she said was ‘Sorry to be harsh but your caution is VERY apparent’! Hahahah! The rescue wanted someone more confident in the situation the puppy would be going to since the puppy was wary of people. That they decided that was not me, is ok!
Good for you to be over cautious. I feel that we would not put our kids in situations they could not handle and I also would not do that to my dogs. I get the no from getting dogs from rescues because we don’t go to the vet for every little thing but treat holistically. So because we use more than one vet and usually don’t need to see them for years at a time, we get denied. But in the end, the right dog for us comes along (usually via facebook and rescuing) that benefits from our cautiousness. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can do too much to be safe for your family members and pets.
I love this example! I have actually talked to a lot of rescues who want people who are open to all forms of care – traditional and holistic. In fact I volunteer for Jake’s rescue and we are big believers in ‘doing best for your dog’. In my current state, I am not ready for a puppy, and for this puppy in particular, they needed someone who was ready.
Yeah, there’s a reason puppies are cute. The other day at the shelter another volunteer said that I had to see the puppy room & was very insistent. We were both so excited that it was full of big dogs instead! It was so nice to not have to clean it every 20 minutes. 🙂
I keep thinking that the perfect dog is out there for Doug, maybe a slightly shy younger female? Though there might be an elderbelle who could keep up with him. 😁
You understand the balance I am looking for! I would have the same reaction to the puppy room! And hey, I took care of Benjamin Button Jake and I would do it all over for him again and again, but that happened during my love for him so I was happy to accommodate. I am thinking a 5+ year old, playful and tolerant but also able to teach Doug the art of chill. An elderbelle would be delicious!
I can relate to being a bit over cautious . Smudge ,afte r his brother Quiggley had been at the Bridge for a year, made it clear he wanted a sibling but not just any sibling . We have been looking for several months . He has had LoTS of interviews and some have gone quite well .Because he had a rough start in life I tend to be a bit over protective of him which he and other dogs pick up on. I have failed the interviews more then him . We are now fostering a MUTT who seems like a perfect fit . the two are inseperable . Smudges Foster brother is called Guiness and is Pit mixed with Rotweiler. If there is a perfect sibling for Smudge I know there is one for President Doug, He and you are too amasing to nt have another family member . All three of us will be praying
I love you and your caution! And of course, we love Smudge! I bet Smudge and Jakey are a lot alike (but Jake was cranky!). Maybe the foster will work out. The fact is that only you (or I) can make that decision. Doug doesn’t get to decide, but he def should have a vote. I have said no to so many seemingly perfect dogs, this rescue saying no to me is no different! We were just not right and that is OK!
Oh I totally get the over cautious. But my reasoning is I would rather be safe than sorry. Its why Swyatt looks like Hannibal Lector (muzzle) when we off leash hike, even though he loves the dogs we hike with….he loves ground squirrels more and they are HIS precious so I hedge my bets and everyone stays happy.
That said – I was also turned down for a rescue and you took it much better than I. Prior to Swy, I had fallen in love with an Aussie puppy from a rescue. He was 6ish months. I sent a detailed application explaining all the ways I would ensure this high energy puppy led a fulfilling life – seeing as I had another high energy dog, who I thought led a pretty charmed life, I felt confident in my application. We would take classes, do all the sports, I had family at home that would let the pup out during the day, dog walkers, etc. And the email came quickly No, because you work full time. I am not sure they even read my detailed application. But in the end it all worked out and Swy popped on my radar 7 months later. But it still drove me a tad nutty at the time.
I love this. I had applied to adopt a lab, and was planning on picking him up and three days before I was to take him, Melvin (not his name at the time) popped up on their website. I didn’t know what would happen with me saying yes then no and then the idea that they would turn me down for Melvin was such an unbearable fear! Obviously it worked out, in all the ways. but it goes to my theory of these love bugs finding us. xoxo
Yes, the ones meant to find us do when the time is right! Swy actually came on my radar when I had a crazy month of travel lined up. So I sent the rescue an email saying I knew they didn’t do holds and required in-person meetings (they were six hours away from me) but that I was going to submit my application now because I had fallen in love with the skinny, big headed, wiggly yellow boy on their site but that if he found a home before I could make it down there the following month I would totally understand.
The rescue coordinator was awesome, told me how hyper he was and when I just came back with more questions and plans she said, she was not going to officially put him on hold (b/c they didn’t do that) but she would be super picky if another application came through because she felt we would be a perfect match. A month later, Sophie and I took a road trip to SoCal, she didn’t react to him even though it was an on leash meeting and she could be leash reactive (especially when a wiggly labrador was jumping at her) so we loaded him up in the crate and made the drive home. 😀 It was meant to be!
Meant to be!!!
I am shocked, perhaps they should read your blog. I can’t think of a better pet owner, but hey….people are weird. I too did not want a puppy. I wanted an old small dog that did not want to walk very much. I got a 6 month old pitbull who now weighs 63 pounds and requires a 2-3 mile walk a day and has had extensive health issues. Honestly I still have the paperwork that says boxer collie mix 20-40 pounds. I could not be happier. My sister helped me get her, and at the time the dog was sick so her high energy did not show. That was 6.5 years ago..I could not be HAPPIER. Yes, I got the right dog inspite of myself. But seriously….don’t we want our dogs to succeed. Hell yeah I am CAUTIOUS..2 OBEDIENCE CLASSES AND A CGC CERTIFICATE. These dogs are thought of in a poor light, I must do my due diligence to be sure my dog is an ambassador for the breed, and not put in situations that she may have problems do to other dogs or owners, or just blamed for something because of her breed. I am a nurse as well…we all know the saying, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”. You go girl with your cautions self. At any rate I am kinda insulted for you on the rejection. I was rejected once too, by a few old ladies who drilled me on what I could do for a dog, my work schedule, my divorce at the time, and so on and so on. I could not believe it. It left a bad taste in my mouth, so a few years later I went to the humane society, and you know what….my family, friends, neighbors, and sometimes myself think “hey I want to be reincarnated as my own dog”! Again you show me how to handle rejection with grace. Thank you for another lesson in life!
Your story is so similar to my story of Doug. Unexpected and wonderful! I was surprised to get the email before I even applied, which I don’t think we would have done anyways, but then I realized how many times I have driven hours, visited dogs multiple times, and still not had the words to explain why they were not right. This story might ring a different tone if I had been denied Melvin, Jake, or Doug! They made the right decisions because they put the dog first. A rescue can absolutely see us as great dog parents and still not think we are right for every dog. I love that the universe tilted and turned to set you up for YOUR perfect hippo! xoxo
I err on the overly-cautious side, too. Which is why we haven’t even looked at the possibility of another dog, and it’s already been two years since Emmett passed. Cooper prefers puppies, as well. He feels safer with them, which I get. I, however, do not have the capacity for a puppy at this moment. Not never. Just not right now…
That said, this line: “If you bring your baby over to my house, I will also leave Doug’s leash on because Doug will knock that baby over, sit on top of him/her and lick their face joyfully.” That is Violet’s dream come true, so lmk when I can bring my baby by! 🙂
You have the right amount of caution! Committing 10 to 15 years to a dog (hopefully) means they have to be the right fit for you *and* Doug. I’m glad that you are at least at the stage of meet-and-greets, though. When I read your previous post about Doug’s hyperactivity, it reminded me of my border collie when she was younger. I would walk her 10 miles a day and play fetch with her and she was still never able to calm down. The second we had another dog in the house permanently, she mellowed so much! I really hope that when you do bring another dog into your family, it will soothe Doug’s anxieties the same way. Best of luck!
I love when people reach out about having similar dogs to Doug. Empathy goes a long way when you are often flying by the seat of your super cute pants! My caution, found Melvin, Jake and Doug. I embrace it proudly! ❤️