Time is funny.

I think it goes without saying that I don’t post here as often (hello captain obvious). One of those reasons is that I love Instagram and Doug gives me so much content for daily stories so we are over there each day and I sometimes just assume all of you are over there with us. The other reason I find myself over here less is that for a long time, I’ve felt uninspired, or maybe inspired differently. Instagram has been a great channel to share Doug because he is ridiculous and funny and the things he does require video proof. In fifteen-second intervals, people get to know Doug. But when it comes to blogging about him, I haven’t really felt the same connection between writing and Doug that I did with Melvin, and then Melvin and Jake.

Neither could read. IMG_9840

I had Melvin for a couple of years before I started this blog and you got to experience how my love grew for him. Jake fit seamlessly into the blog stories as his own googly-eyed personality but also as Melvin’s soulmate. You then traveled these pages with us as Melvin and I said farewell for now, as me and Jake mourned, and then as I said another painful see you on the other side to Jake.

Even when I forced myself to share Doug with you all, it wasn’t the same. It isn’t that I didn’t love telling you about him, I just didn’t derive as much joy from writing about me and him. And when Instagram stories became a thing, that felt way more right.

I’ve been thinking about the why of that lately.

I think part of it has to do with Melvin. This blog, the reason it exists, is Melvin. And it’s not because I don’t love Doug like I love Melvin, it’s that my love of writing this blog, was always tied to, my love for Melvin. I felt a disconnect when I started writing about Doug, because I couldn’t connect him to Melvin. I could have written every day about Doug and you probably would have kept on reading, but I wouldn’t have enjoyed it they way I should have, so I slowly tapered off.

That is probably not the only reason.

I’m also afraid of losing Doug. Not every minute of everyday, or even something I think about regularly. More so in the way that, sharing him in words on this page, make him a dog I will lose. He has had a ton of health issues this year and I want to come to this community and share it but there is a part of me who wants to keep his updates verbal. Nothing to refer back to, every detail not chronicled in words somewhere for me to linger on. No Facebook memory pop-ups to remind me of posts that end in heartbreak.

I still wholeheartedly chase joy and Melvin and Jake love lives on the most beautiful ways. But losing them, broke big parts of me. And for a long time, this blog haunted me more than it reminded me that joy is who we are.

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Photo Credit: Kate Juliet Photography

I know that Doug is connected through Melvin in the second best way; me. And these past few years with Doug, although not as much was chronicled here, he and I have forged a beautiful life. A life filled with love that healed a tremendous amount of grief in me. A love that soothes his anxiety and gives him something to rely on. A love that is fueled by Melvin and Jake but uniquely made for only Doug.

IMG_3184 2

And in the past month, I have found myself wanting to be here more. Wanting to write more about Doug. Moments in the ER, yes, but also moments where Doug steals hearts and brings laughter. So I have written some posts and didn’t post them because I wanted to really decided if we would be back more or not.

I think we will be here a little more often. If nothing else, you know that a piece of my heart will always be found at ohmelvin.com. Melvin and Jake #loveliveson here, it’s like coming home.

 

 

14 thoughts on “Time is funny.

  1. This year has been hard, after putting my boy down I had to disconnect from Facebook. He was such a huge part of my life, his health such a daily struggle at some points that almost all my memories are of him. It cut like a knife at first. I’m just now able to re-join Facebook but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. It was like he was my entire life and now he’s gone. Which isn’t fair to his sister who is an amazing dog, she’s just… not him. Between the daily reminders, my own personal health crap, and family drama, I finally just called it quits for a while to cleanse my mind. I miss reading your stories here but I totally understand where you are coming from.

    • I totally understand. I think it’s important to do what’s right for your individual healing. Some people dive headfirst into social media as it occupies time they might otherwise spend grieving. Others need a break. I get you. ❤️

  2. My BabyGirl passed in June. Even though I am still having hard time missing her I find the memories popping always make me smile and I get a good feeling remembering those certain moments. I still have her pic on my phone and as my profile pic on FB. She had a good life and knew she is loved.I miss her so much yet I will not let the memory’s fade away. She made me feel happy.

    • I’m sorry you had to say goodbye but I can tell her love shines brightly through you! I kept Melvin and Jake as my screen saver for a while. Then one day it was Doug. I always found photos and videos brought me way more joy than sadness. I will walk down memory lane any day with M&J. For me, it was the words I wrote here that could easily take me back to more difficult days – although any moment with them was priceless! ❤️

  3. What is your Instagram….i would love to follow you on there as well…i miss your posts all the time….love and hugs to you and Doug!

  4. It’s difficult to keep a blog going when life changes SO MUCH. When I first started my blog, we had four dogs and two cats. Now, 7 years later, we have one dog. ONE DOG. It’s been tough to keep going through all the losses; yet, as life goes on, so does my blog. We now are crazy poultry farm people, with 38 birds, chickens and guinea hens! So I write about that, along with our life with our crazy reactive dog. It seems to resonate well with our readers, those who have been with us since the beginning, and found along the way as well. I guess what I’m saying is that sometimes blogs evolve with life, but gosh, it can be difficult. I’m glad you’re back here more. ♥

    • You know in reading your response, I realize also, I was not open to change in what I was I writing about. Also, I have no clue what 4 dogs would be like either! But it sounds wonderful! You have a modern ark. I love it! ❤️

  5. Hi and I am always so glad to get an email telling me there’s a new post! It’s not how much but I just really enjoy reading your perspective about stuff and life with Doug. And is it weird that I have feeling of missing and longing for Jake? No one did Mr. T like he did. No one! That little rug humper! (swoon!)

    I’m looking forward to whatever and whenever you may write in the future! Seeing the email about your post is often a little joy I wasn’t expecting.

    All the best,
    Rebecca (and Princess Abigaile, boss of her mamas)!

  6. We understand that time moves on just as love lives on. But please know that we do look forward to your posts. Your writing is wonderful and your approach to life is even better. I first “met” you at the end of Melvin’s life, was so happy to get to know him through the archives – and then to follow along through Jake’s trials and triumphs (which helped so much when our Little Miss Habi became a meatball machine too!), and then to welcome Doug The Whirlwind. If you only post once or twice a year, I’ll look forward to those posts (and more often would thrill me! Just trying not to be greedy). But keep writing in some fashion – you have a real gift.

    • You don’t know how much this means to me. All of it, but a little extra on the meatball makers. ❤️ Thank you for writing this and thank you for following along on this journey!! xoxo

  7. So glad to see a post from you. I am aware of a few bloggers who stopped blogging, for whatever reason, many for the birth of a child or two. Life changes, all the time. I am not the same person I was two years ago or even one year ago. Two weeks ago I left a domain I had worked in my entire professional career. When people asked why I told the truth “I needed a change”, but really I changed! Saw it coming for a while, then one day poof, new environment for work. My point is the we evolve, change, whatever, sometimes at our own behest, others times do to this whimsical life.
    I love reading your blog, do I hope that you continue to write, absolutely, I have learned so much about fur family members here, I have laughed until I thought I would wet my pants, and I have shed a few tears as well. I was delighted to see that I was not weird for being over the moon about my “girl”! Thank you for all the great post, and thank you for sharing all of your fur family members!!!!

    • I love this, and yay for you and for your big change – in job and self! Thank you for traveling alongside us, it means so much. Wishing you joy on your next chapter! xoxo

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