Over the past couple of weeks Melvin has had some stomach issues and has needed to go out in the middle of night. One, two, three o’clock in the morning, it’s all the same after midnight on a work night. It would be easy to get annoyed but these things happen to all living creatures and I’m just happy he let’s me know he has to go out as opposed to using the bedroom carpet instead.
This is not the first or the 40th time that understanding has been called upon.
- The very first night I had Melvin I found him curled up on my bed chewing on a pink bic razor he had found in my shower. Luckily he started at the non-dangerous end.
- Shortly after the realization that in his previous life he had been abused by hangers, I found out that he would destroy any hanger I happened to lay on the bed while getting dressed. He did not care that his gums would bleed in the process.
- He chews my hair rubber bands like gum and despite gagging on them over and over will not stop until I forcefully remove them from his mouth. He has been known to put his ginormous head in my bag to find one.
- He has thrown up (water) on my bare feet.
- He ate an entire cheese platter five minutes before guest arrived for a NYE party. He was still having gastric upset because of it at Valentines Day.
- I make my bed every day. He un-makes my bed every day.
The most recent opportunity for acceptance came last night. We got a new couch this week. Knowing he would opt to lay on the chaise part of the couch, I took proactive drool protection measures and put a blanket over that part of the sofa. When I came home, I noticed a small section of the blanket had been pulled back. Melvin, as part of the digestive upset, was nauseous and instead of throwing-up on the blanket as I would have prefered, he instead moved the blanket so as not to throw-up on it at all. The throw-up fell into the crack of the sofa and dripped down the side. My only reaction was to start laughing hysterically. It’s official, he has taught me how to love unconditionally. And for that I am a better person.
You are a much better person than I am. Puke on the side of the couch? Pack your bags, Melvin.
And you are officially off the ‘call in case of emergency’ list.
Your posts always crack me up. Seriously, “oh, Melvin!” is always my first thought after reading your posts. Aptly named blog, my dear! Aptly named!