It’s me Jake. Everyone is writing letters and I do stuff that other’s do so here is mine. I’m not even sure why they are writing letters about me being here for a year. My backwards forever look only sees them. If I had another life, I don’t recall it.
I mean, my time here is not limited is it? Let me be very clear. I’M STAYING. If you try to remove me, be prepared to suffer. It ain’t happening. This is my destiny. I deserve this.
Sure, I’m a jerk sometimes, I have no problem telling you that. Uh, hello, jerks don’t care if you call them jerks. We’re jerks, doy. Yeah, that’s right, I get lazy and can’t be bothered to alert anyone that I need to go out so sometimes I just shoot meatballs out of my butt and she just picks them up. I mean sure, she lectures me on how I’m supposed to let her know when I have to go. Blah, blah, blah. Then I pee in Mel-bro’s bed, and he just moves over, like he’s making room for the pee. I don’t know why I do this stuff. More and more I do feel bad (but not always). I mean these people really seem to like me, why can’t I just be all-the-time-good?
No matter what I do, She continues to love on me. I think She might be crazy, which of course makes me love her back. I am not sure I have ever loved anything as much as I love Her. I even love Her more than Melvin’s butt. She gets me. I’m a stinky, noisy, googly-eyed, Rug-loving-deviant and She still loves me. Me, just the way I am. It blows my mind. I show Her how much I love her by checking-in on her every few minutes. At first I stayed away from Her but that was just to guard my precious emotions but now that I know she loves me no matter how bad I am I find the need to be near her or see her constantly.
Then there is Melvin. I still do not understand why he won’t play with me. She says he’s an old soul and I guess that is code for boring. I still try to bite his face sometimes but all that gets me is a bark from him and time-out from Her. I’m a ‘bring in da noise and da funk’ kind of dog and Melvin is a big mushy love pillow. It’s cool though cause I love the way he smells and lately he is letting me snuggle with him and it turns out that warm fuzzy brother moments are even better than funk. Who knew!
So to reiterate, I’m staying. I love her. Melvin is my best friend. Take care, peace out.