To each their own.

From the time I got Melvin to the time I lost him, he was pretty much the same dog.  He was exuberant, loving, snuggly and happy.  He was soulful.  As he aged, the exuberance softened (he’d no longer knock you over to get to you) and the soulful side of him expanded exponentially.  He grew into himself, gradually.

Life for Jake has been a little different.  Where I got Melvin at three, I got Jake at five.  When Jake came to me he was confused, docile, there wasn’t much light in his eyes.  It took him a while to warm up to us.  At times, he was downright mean to Melvin. But eventually, he became a loving member of our family.  Eager to be around us, less eager to please.  Then his legs started failing him and he got a bit frustrated, mean Jake returned.  But we persevered through that and he found his new ground. Then he fell madly in love with all things Melvin and he softened up.  They snuggled, and kissed and Jake followed his hero around like a sweet little sidekick.  Then we lost Melvin and Jake retreated, he went back to being Hans solo Jake.  He was wounded, lost.

And now he is found agin.

Where Melvin’s life was smoother, even despite all his health issues, Jake’s journey has been a bit more topsy-turvy. But something tells me that the Jake I am getting to know right now, is the true Jake.  The on-his-own Jake.  Not a follower, not a leader, just Jake. While Melvin lived to be near me, Jake moderately enjoys time spent with me, but he also needs his alone time (hey I get it, I’m the same way!).  He spends much more time with me during the day now, but at some point in the afternoon, he heads into the room with the sun and sun spots for a while.

When I call Jake’s name, he will lift his head up every time, so I know he hears me. But he only comes when called, some of the time. There is no real rhyme or reason to when he answers my call.  Because that is who he is.  Sometimes he seeks to please me, sometimes he focuses on what Jake wants.  And that is ok. I like this new Jake.  Part of him helps get me through the missing of Melvin and part of him is a stern reminder that he is his own dog.

“I’ll come when I want to come”. IMG_4294

It’s just Jake and I right now.  It’s still hard to type that.  We miss Melvin a lot.  But if it has to be this way, I’m happy for this time with Jake.  This is likely the first time in his life he has had a human all to himself.  I’m like his lady in waiting. We are very much just living in the moment, not too many plans, we look back every once in a while and there are more smiles than tears.  Just existing as a little family of two.  It won’t always be this way, so we are enjoying what we have, while we have it.

Living in the right now, it’s a good way to be.

“Get me a snack woman”. IMG_4319


17 thoughts on “To each their own.

  1. I enjoy your posts very much. I have way too many emails throughout the day and when your email pops up I stop and read it. You should consider compiling all your posts into a book. Maybe you have 🙂 I’ve only been following your blog for a few months but it’s hands down one of my favorite. I feel sadness when you mention your loss of Melvin. All of us who have loved and loss know that feeling. It really would be unbearable without Jake it seems to me. Thank goodness for sweet Jake. In the past I’ve had that dog that followed my every move all day and at the same time had the little guy that laid on the back of the couch and would say “hey” if I walked through his room, he was not about to come to me. I can relate.

    • Thank you so much, Rebecca! I’m glad we can provide a welcomed email into the inbox! Yes, thank goodness for Jake indeed. Thank goodness for all the dogs and people that help get us through this crazy, wonderful life!

  2. I am constantly amazed at your ability to put your thoughts into words. I read everything over and over again. I’ve loved and lost 3 dogs in my life (well, I’ve loved many, but they weren’t all mine) and each one was different both in life and in passing. Thank you for sharing your everything with all of us.

  3. Beautiful! I have complete confidence that you and Jake will figure this out…..Both individually, but also together! Much love to you both

  4. I’m thrilled that Jake is coming into his own and the two of you are discovering all the facets of your particular partnership. Too, it makes me feel hopeful for Cooper. My fussy little one will be on his own with both his brothers facing down cancer, and that thought keeps me up at night, worrying and worrying. But this post… this post brought me so much joy.

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