Jake hunts frogs (or anything else that dares to come into his yard). Problem is, there are some poisonous toads so I try to keep an eye on his safari adventures, especially at night. Lately, it’s been a non-issue because he can’t really see.
Which is good since I found a GIANT POISONOUS TOAD IN OUR YARD. (Just typing that takes me back to the horror filled moment).
Thankfully I found it and not Jake. And thankfully my dad stocked my tool closet with a shovel. Melvin would have sensed that thing and ran inside, never to return outside again. Jake would mount that toad and hold on tight, even as it sprayed poison into his face, He’d die trying to wrestle that
This is the toad I found, please note it’s size in comparison to a normal size brick. In addition to its gianormous length, It was easily as high as the brick. I thought it was pregnant. It was the size of a large grapefruit.
And here it is tainting up the bucket I captured it in (I threw the bucket away, I mean I can’t keep it now, it’s a reminder of frogmagedon). It is honestly the size of an adult turtle. Look at its fat arms, I think it’s on steroids.
I don’t really enjoy nature. I certainly do not enjoy poison. But if any animal threatens the safety of my dogs, well you might have poison sprayers on your neck, but I have a dad-issued-shovel and an industrial sized bucket and I will take you down.
PS. If you are wondering how to tell if a toad is poisonous or not, see, those kidney-shaped lumps on its back, just below his head — those are the glands that house the poison. Normal toads do not have those. You’re welcome.