Last week, Doug pee’d in the house. He did it once a day for four days. Actually one of the times was at Rehab but it was still indoors and it was in front of Becky so I knew he was not being defiant. All four times he had been out to pee recently so I made him an appointment, I collected some pee from him and off we went.
The initial read of the pee seemed normal. But the vet asked me how I collected it, if I had touched anything or if the container was clean. I had not and it was. She was a little perplexed because there was ‘debris’ in the sample.
She did the male version of an OB-GYN exam and then said ‘ohhhhhhhh, there’s the problem’…
I should note here that I spent a lot of time deciding what term to use for this update. Since a lot of readers have said their kids look at pictures of Doug, I went with the G-rated term.
Doug has a ding-a-ling infection. Saying ding-a-ling softens it a little but it does not make it any less strange. I have had boy dog my whole life and this is the very first (and hopefully last) ding-a-ling issue we have ever faced. For anyone confused, it’s not a UTI, it’s his actual Ding. A. Ling.
I asked her how this could have happened, knowing full well that if any dog was going to get an infection in their man parts, it would be Doug. That thing is ALWAYS out. Some days I worry it’s stuck on the out position. She said it was likely allergies, but that it could be from a lot of different things (like dirt or something getting ‘in there’). If any of you are wondering if Doug is bringing Syphilis back, he’s not. I asked. It’s not a STD.
But for just one moment, can’t you see Doug on a STD PSA poster in the subway?
The vet said infections like this can go one of two ways. The seven days of oral antibiotics work, or it could get really bad. The really bad road includes have to wash and clean the ding-a-ling several times a day (with a substance that I happen to be allergic to) and having to apply ding-a-ling topical medication, to said ding.
No. Just no.
We are really due the ‘it worked’ option. We’ll take two of those please!
Please. A ding-a-ling thing can’t be the issue that breaks me. Oh but wait, it already has.
Instead of showing you Doug’s ding-a-ling, I will show you what happens when he has an urgency to pee from said uncomfortable ding-a-ling. He pulls when I’m not expecting it and this weekend he took me down hard to get to grass. I’m covered in bruises and there is this:
I know it’s gross but be thankful I didn’t go with Herpe Joe’s photo.