Hey guys, it’s Melvin.  Just a 411 that we got a heat wave happening here, which actually is a 911 for me because I’m sensitive wearing a fur coat and all.  She keeps going outside to sit, or water the green stuff so that it does not become brown stuff.  And if she goes, so I must go.  Who else is going to protect her out there?  So out we go and the heat hits me like when my brakes don’t work and I slam into a wall.  Boom, heat in my face.  The brick is hot, the shade is hot, and if I lay on that chaise my organs might start baking. Oh, and I have to wear baby sunscreen which goes on super thick and creates yet another layer of hotness.  Why do I have to wear that goop?  What’s an Al Bye No?

After she says ‘Melvin, go inside’ forty times and I don’t listen (trust me, I WANT to go inside, few things would make me happier than to go inside but I love her more than I love air conditioning so I just pretend that I don’t hear her), she gets the snake sprayer out and squirts me.  How hurtful can this woman be? I’d run off but the fence seems to go around the whole yard and the snake can spray past the fence. Stupid fence, I’ll pee on it later.  Don’t tell her but I do feel cooler once she’s got me watered down.  It’s odd cause I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY don’t like being wet but for some reason being wet on super hot days is almost not the worst thing ever.

Stay cool peeps! Oh, and if you read us, please like us on Facebook!  LIKE US HERE!