This post is 100% what you think it is about. Jake’s dong is huge.
Listen, I have embraced the fact that his hind legs are entering into early retirement. I fully understand that as that happens, a meatball will pop out here and there. I accept that he cannot always hold his pee. What I did not anticipate was trying to find a belly band that would hoist/hold in/control his humongous…buddy.
Melvin is 50 lbs bigger than Jake. Jake’s man part is twice the size of Melvin’s. I bought Jake belly bands that fit his TINY, IS-HE-WEARING-A-CORSET, SIZE WAIST but they are no match for the man part. I put the band on and Big Jake pops out. I hoist up, tuck in, clip tight and one minute later, there he is. Both of him. I can’t go up in size because then it won’t fit his lady waist. The struggle is so, so real.
Jake was apparently born for porn. I feel bad denying him his destiny. In the meantime, google is likely laughing their asses off at my recent search terms.
(sorry if this offended anyone! all details are truth). I am not going to include photographic proof, instead I’ll just include saucy photos that he could use for his online profile.