Bob, the lady cat.

As you will recall, Bob is the feral cat that I started feeding last fall, when she was just a kitten. Then Bob got knocked up, and her gender became more obvious, but I kept her name anyway. She’s Bob. Bob was trapped, she nursed her kittens and they were adopted out.

Bob got spayed, vaccinated, ear tipped, microchipped and got a three-month tick preventative this past week and has come here to recover.

Bob is an angry, rebellious teenager. And everything is apparently my fault.

Listen Bob, I get it. You’re a slutty little vixen (that sounded judgy but I fully accept who you are) and after a few nights of unprotected boy-toy time you started gaining some weight. Then one day, kittens dropped out of your area. I imagine that was uncomfortable. I don’t know how you felt about being a mom but you seemed to step-up and kept the kittens well-fed. Then the rains came, you moved the babies to higher ground and then giants stole your babies, trapped you and forced you into a cage with the kittens to be their food source. It all seems pretty hurtful. 

Then one of the giants took you to a place where they poked and prodded you and then took out your lady parts. Then a different, yet familiar, giant picked you up and put you in a high-rise cage that she built with her own hands. Even though that familiar giant paid your vet bill, and is allergic to you, and reaches into the cage several times a day to feed you, give you fresh water and clean your litter box, you take time out of your very busy lying around time TO HISS AT HER LIKE VICIOUS LION.

Yes, folks, that’s right, inmate-Bob hates me too. I go outside and use soothing tones and feed her really, really good food and she basically gives the cat equivalent of a F U. Every time. It rained yesterday, so I went and bought a huge tarp to keep Bob dry and I spent a long time trying to aerodynamically figure out how to utilize the tarp and not SUFFOCATE BOB at the same time and still that little hussy (sorry, still no judgement) hissed at me the entire time. Every time I reach in to fill up her food bowl I wonder if that will be the moment I learn what cat attack feels like.

I don’t blame her. She does not have a clue as to why her life has been disrupted and when, if ever, she will back to walking the mean streets. The answer to that is, SOON, very soon. Once free. my guess is that she will return to the front of the house where I was feeding her before her teen pregnancy and that is fine. I will feed her wherever.

I am also moderately concerned that she and Doug are planning some sort of prison coup. They can probably communicate telepathically.

I need a sturdier lock on my bedroom door.

The only thing that I know with absolute certainty is that cleaning a litter box is a new level in hell for me. It’s not even that there is poop or pee, I mean the scoop makes it really easy. It’s the smell of the fresh litter. It’s so overwhelming. It’s like someone sprays a powdery,  deodorizing, air freshener directly into my face every time. The smell haunts me, all day.

Here is Bob being introduced to her condo. This is right before poop started flying out of her butt.  It made me miss Jake.


She looks super sweet. Until you look at, lean towards, reach into or try to help out in any way.


It makes me laugh how much Jake would HATE the mere idea of Bob, let alone seeing her in his yard.  I’m not even sure I would have taken her in if Jake was here, his prey drive was so severe. Bob’s existence would have haunted him day and night. He is probably flipping out about her as I type this.

22 thoughts on “Bob, the lady cat.

  1. Switch from clay litter to an unscented natural litter. So much better for you and the cat! I use World’s Best, easy to find at most stores and corn-based. She’ll probably disappear for a bit after her release, but I’m sure she’ll forgive you in time 😉

    • I stood in the litter aisle for easily 20 min. The only part i felt remotely qualified to decide is that I didn’t need multi cat.

      Thanks for the tip!

  2. Has Doug seen Bob’s multi-level condo? I imagine he’d be super annoyed that he’s in a single level cell while the new girl has those spacious digs. 😉

  3. I use it is made from coconut, no dust, none of that typical litter ‘deodorant’. Its a little pricey but sure works miracles. You can only buy it online. It might even be a more natural substance for her to use since it looks like dirt. You are a really wonderful human for doing this for her considering your allergies!

    • Oh good to know! I have had a litter debate for days with my friends who have cats and no one can agree that any are ‘great’. I’ll share all these tips with them too! Thank you!

      • One other thing I forgot to mention, it is biodegradable, of course after the poop has been scooped, you can toss the used litter into your garden or bushes.

  4. You are absolutely amazing for all you have done for Bob!! Thank you so much for helping her; you have gone waaaaaay above and beyond!

  5. You have such a big heart! Bob will come around, to some extent anyway.

    We feed stray cats at my workplace. They still aren’t ‘tame’ but they no longer run when they see us coming with the food bag.

  6. Bob has some pretty sweet digs! Try wearing a dust mask when dealing with (scooping/refreshing) the litter pan. It might help with the lingering scent.

    You have such a kind heart!

  7. This blog made me chuckle at her antics but I also think she’s a little ingrate!!! Her condo is fabulous!! How rude of her.

  8. Sounds like being a prison warden might not be your calling. Haha! I can totally relate to the kitty litter. I can pick up dog poo all day . . . anyone’s . . . and I can even manage to clean up puke with just a few (thankfully unproductive) gags. But I absolutely cannot deal with kitty litter. It definitely produces gags of the productive type, which I learned the hard way when I agreed to take care of my neighbors’ cat while they spent two weeks in Germany. 🙁

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