2020 and Joy.

I have said this one billion times before, joy is not ignoring reality, it’s about making the best of it. And in so many unlikely ways, we found joy this year.

I started off the year, not knowing if Doug would be here with me at the end of it. When Covid hit in March, amidst all the fear and uncertainty, a wish I’d had came true. I was working from home full time, in that year when I was not sure how long Doug would be here.

Pure joy, even in a pandemic.

As we moved into summer, our family got a baby! A reminder that even when the sky is falling, joy can sneak in.

Also, I had more time to work on Bob’s trust. And he’s finally eating in the garage, just in time for winter. I guess I have a cat now. Words I never thought I’d type!

Covid shifted some of my anxiety. As spring moved into summer, and we hit the 6-month mark of Doug having NCL, I realized he would outlive the initial 6-month timeframe. In fact, his disease was progressing so slowly, his medical team barely noticed much difference in him. That brought with it, room to breathe. And the moment I took that first deep breath, the human medical community was revealing that Covid causes blood clotting in patients without clotting conditions. I already clot too much. How would I ever survive a virus that causes more? So I worried less about Doug, and went into some hyperdrive on quarantine. I worked really hard on finding a balance. Rearranging my house and pantry ten billion times and continuing to celebrate life with Doug has helped!

I am lucky enough to still be working from home. I regularly don’t know what day it is. I can’t believe we are at the end of December. Doug was diagnosed over a year ago, and even though there is still almost 100% uncertainty about what will come, NCL does not rule our day. Joy continues to win.

The time I have been given with Doug, is a priceless treasure. When cancer flipped our lives upside down with Melvin, we only got 40 days. When cancer showed up again with Jake, we only got 5 months. Every single day with Doug is new and beautiful and unexpected and everything I could ever ask for.

2020 gave us the one thing we needed the most, time together.

Merry, merry! Happy, happy! With so much love, Me, Doug, and Bob! xoxo

11 thoughts on “2020 and Joy.

  1. I’m so happy that you, Doug and Bob are doing well. Congratulations on getting through 2020 and congrats on the baby. He has beautiful eyes. Wishing you health and happiness in 2021!

  2. Happy New Year and yay for the good things that happened in 2020! As you point out, some did. A good year to be a human be-ing. So glad you’re both doing well, all things considered. Such a beautiful baby!

    Virtual hugs and best of wishes for this new year to both of you!

    XOXO –
    Chris from Boise

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