Our very first foster day.

Where to start…

Our foster, Athena, was supposed to come a few weeks ago. There was a delay in her arrival from the shelter due to her having a rough spay operation and also that they had to remove a mammary tumor (it turned out to be benign).  They had a hard time getting her incisions to heal and she was at the vet for over a week. I wasn’t for sure if we were even going to get her.

This did not stop me from planning.  I bought bigger crates, I bought baby gates and I drove 40 minutes to buy the food she was currently eating so that we could slowly transition her to better food. It also gave me a chance to train Doug away from he mudroom.

When I went to pick her up on Saturday, she still had sutures (which I knew would be the case).  Upon looking at her underside, it was obvious it didn’t look like it was supposed to.  The area where the mammary tumor was removed should have been flat, instead it was raised up like a tennis ball.

We got her in the car. She was timid but sweet. Her sad eyes told her story.


The meet and greet with Doug did not go very well.  They lunged at each other pretty early on (on the walk on leash). There was snarling. I was worried about this since Doug has never ever reacted this way but I was more worried about the state of her incisions.

The vet that the rescue uses got us in right away.  When we got into the exam room, I noticed that she has a heart-shape-spot on the side of her body.


It took two vets and two vet techs to remove the mangled staples that were buried in her swollen incision areas.  They flushed the areas out. They opted to not do new sutures because of the infection, they wanted to see if they would close better on their own, without the staples. They cleaned out her ears, they may never have been cleaned out before, and we left an hour-and-a-half later with her antibiotic and instruction that she should not be outside too much, or lay down outside at all.  Her incisions were susceptible to more infection.

She remained sweet as could be.

I got her home and into the mudroom.  Doug was hyper aware she was there and kept trying to jump up on the gate (I had three gates separating them, I am nothing if not efficient). She was extremely uneasy in the mudroom. She did not like being in the crate our outside of the crate near the gate.  Even when I was in there with her, she was uneasy.  I don’t know if she had ever been in a house before. If I left the mudroom, she tried to jump the gates, not a good idea in general or with her incisions.

I tried everything. Leaving her in the mudroom with a visual of me to see if she’d calm down. I went into the mudroom with her. I gave her a frozen peanut butter Kong, then a bully stick, then cheese.  She wouldn’t eat. I put Doug in his crate in the office and brought her into the house to see if she would calm down. She didn’t.

It was only outside that she was relaxed.  She had lived an outside existence for many of her years. After a few minutes outside, she would prance around, sniffing, occasionally coming up to me.  It was a gorgeous day on Saturday so I would have stayed outside with her all day had it not been for her incisions.

Every time I brought her back into the house, she panicked. Her and Doug growled at each other from afar, although Doug did start to relax a little.  He had no problem eating his Kong or bully stick. But she just barked and whimpered and paced.

I tried to get her more comfortable in the house.  The rescue group’s trainer called me and we chatted about her anxiety. Was it Doug? Was it me? Was it the house? Was it how she felt? I had a had a plan for if her and Doug hit it off and for if they didn’t.  I however did not have a plan for her being uneasy in the crate, mudroom or house in general.

The trainer asked me to send her photos of the incisions, that maybe the vet was being overly cautious.  Once they saw them I think they agreed that she needed to stay as clean as possible to hopefully avoid more surgery.  We chatted about options and decided to take her to the 24 hour vet (it was evening) so they could get her calm and get her some pain medication (something we had not gotten at the first vet appointment, even though I asked for them).  It was painful to look at her incisions, it had to be painful for her to have them that way.

This vet was about 40 minutes away.  She calmed down dramatically in the car. She was timid going into the next vet but I went with her into the back room and got her settled into a cage in the back treatment room.  She was perfectly calm in that cage. She sat down and then laid down as I sat with her. She was much more comfortable in this setting over being in my house.

I went over everything with the techs, said my good byes to her and went home.  The plan was for her to stay there until they decided if she needed surgery to clean up the incisions.

I went home and felt defeated, mostly for her.  I had not thought that day one would be easy or great, I only thought it would be as good as it could be. But with the state of her incisions and her anxiety level, I felt like she had a much rougher time than anyone ever deserved. I’m not sure knowing about her health issue would have made me plan differently.

Doug rounded out the first day of fostering with marking all areas she touched. Luckily for him, I love him and I was way too tired to care.



The new me.

After Melvin died, I feel like I remained me.  I was me, just a super sad version of myself. Maybe I remained myself because Jake needed stability. After Jake died, I feel like I changed. Maybe that was to compensate for my little family disappearing. Maybe I was just due to change a little from the prior year me. Part of it was probably how lost and broken I felt.

Things that had caused me stress before, no longer bothered me.  Things that I never noticed before, caused me anxiety.  For a while, I felt like I didn’t even know myself. I still feel that way a little.

The fact is, I have been learning who I am without Melvin and Jake. I’d rather not have to do this, so there has been some kicking and screaming along the way.

Normally, when I bring something home, I give it a lot of thought.  Be it a couch, a rug, a new appliance or a dog(!), a lot of thought and consideration goes into my decisions.  Yet, I didn’t give Doug all that much thought. His first few days here, instead of over planning or controlling for everything, I just went with the flow.  (I should note here that I still love over planning and controlling for everything, I just didn’t do it all that much at first with Doug. I’m not a total anarchist).

The new me is full of surprises.

Take for instance this post from Doug’s rescue group about this sweet girl, who had been starved and then dumped at a shelter.


They also posted her new photos to show how the shelter was able to get her back up to a healthier weight.


Doug’s rescue group posted they would like to pull her if they could find a foster home for her. I immediately started thinking about how we could help.  Then, in a shocking series of two minutes, my fingers opened my email and sent a note saying that we could foster her.

Wait, what? Who sent that?

I thought about it for a minute and thought, OK new me. You win, let’s do this.  So we had a phone call about fostering her, they gave me the scoop on her and asked me if I was still in.

I said, yes. That was a little over a week ago We are still awaiting word on when she is coming.

The mudroom is ready for her (actually the whole house is ready for her but the mudroom will be her private escape).  I am not sure how long she will be with us but I do know she will feel love every minute she is in this home.

Hopefully she likes bouncy dogs named Doug.

Who wouldn’t love the Doug?img_0611