I was starting to worry that we had not heard from the oncologist because it was terrible news.  As it turns out, it was really good bad news.

Jake’s cancer has not ‘officially’ metastasized.  There were some lymph nodes that could be questionable early metastasis but there were no obvious tumors in his lungs or abdomen (aside from what we already knew).

His treatment plan is a three day regimen of intense radiation (this plan is a little less radiation than the 15-20 day option but far more radiation that the palliative approach).  Then Jake will be done with treatment and he will just live a life of joy until it’s time to go be with Melvin.  We expect him to have about six months.  There are no guarantees so while it could be shorter, it could always be longer too.  I’m glad his treatment will be quick so that we can get going on the joyful part.

To make it slightly more challenging, the telling sign that his cancer is winning the war will be increased hind leg weakness. Funny,  right? That is something that will already be on the decline due his spine issues. Way to keep me on my toes Jake!

I know that Jake will let me know when it’s time. For now, I’m grateful we have options, I’m so happy we can have a little more time together.  His next six months will be packed with sweetness and love. This is so much more than others get; we will take it with gratitude and won’t waste a single minute of it.

Have a great weekend!

I’m going to give you the CliffsNote version of the what the oncologist said because quite frankly there is still so much we don’t know.  Keep in mind that Jake’s cancer(s) were seen via MRI when looking at his spine so we still need to take a look at them in other ways.

We have to get a CT scan of his entire body to look more closely at everything and most importantly, to look for metastasis.  If there is metastasis, Jake’s time with me will be very short.

There are some things that we can confirm.  Jake has at least one cancer, the one in his thigh.  A nerve sheath tumor that arose from the end of his spine, where his spinal nerves are. That one seems pretty advanced. He may or may not have kidney cancer, that tumor needs a closer look.  There is a mass, on his kidney, but the confusing part about that one is that if it is kidney cancer, he should probably be gone already.

This is the part I should mention the somewhat debilitating dejavu that I have faced over the past two weeks.  I guess it’s not dejavu if you actually know for certain you have lived it before.

• The week before I found out about Melvin’s cancer, I bought a necklace with his and Jake’s name on it.  Two weeks ago I bought a ‘m&J’ necklace.
• A few days after Melvin’s diagnosis, we had a snowstorm, ditto for Jake.
• At Melvin’s oncologist appointment, we also scheduled a CT scan with them saying ‘if it is this type of cancer, and his tumor is 9 cm, we’d expect him to be gone by now’.  Verbatim words spoken today about Jake (although a different cancer).

And now you see why I am full of hope and despair equally, 24/7.  They are two peas, one pod.  It’s crazy.

If Jake’s cancer has not spread we will opt for a 3 day intensive radiation approach over a 15 day radiation option, mostly because both require anesthesia and 15 days straight of anesthesia on a brachycephalic dog is not ideal.  The 15 day is the suggested protocol and even though the three day is less tested, it has shown to be ‘equally as good’ on cancers similar to Jake’s.

If there is no metastasis, and we do radiation, we could be looking at anywhere from 3-6 months, maybe a little more depending on what the CT scan shows in terms of the cancer(s). So much depends on the CT scan which is scheduled for next Wednesday.

There were two surgical ‘ideas’ thrown out but I’m not sure they are actually options just yet.  One, if the kidney tumor is indeed kidney cancer, we could opt to remove his kidney and the tumor to buy him some time. This is one of those ‘what is the recovery time like versus how much time does it buy’ decisions.  The other idea is to possibly remove Jake’s hind leg.  To truly remove that cancer, they’d likely have to take the end portion of his spine, and 1. that might not even be a real option and 2. that is a quality of life decision we’d all have to consider for a dog with Jake’s issues.  That would completely take away his hind leg mobility, maybe more.  I’d have to give soul searching thought to how much time that buys versus what that would do to the joy.  And again, the surgeon might say no to that being an option altogether.

So, we wait. Wednesday is a week away, that’s a lot of love and snuggles and vodka.  There will (hopefully) be decisions to make next week and all of them, will focus on what gives Jake the greatest opportunity for joy over the next few weeks and months.

And lastly, I am hanging in there. It does not appear he will be with me as long as I’d hoped, but today is no different than two weeks ago.  We are living the best life we can, together.  And I’m grateful for any time I’m given with him, because he (and his brother) are my joy.

PS. the oncologist and I discussed having two dogs diagnosed with cancer in less than a year and she helped me rule out environmental causes, so that gave me some peace.

PSS. Jake has NEVER been to the vet, any vet, new or old and not produced meatballs.  He is nothing if not fully committed to the factory.

“Why do I not see you preparing my breakfast? What is up with skipping meals lately?”

“We better be heading to a drive-thru, woman!”

This is the look of a dog with a prey drive who has just seen a dog with the nerve to walk past our car in the parking lot.  This is why Jake is strapped in.  

You know when you read about those couples who when one of the spouses dies, the other’s health starts fading and relatively soon after, the other dies.  And often we say they died of heartache, even though there are medical issues to point to. Maybe the heartache weakened their immune system?

I think Melvin and Jake may be trying to be one of those couples. In less than a year, Jake lost Melvin, lost sight in one eye, has had to fight off a MRSA infection and went suddenly paralyzed in his back side. I wish this story ended there but sadly, it does not.

I’m heartbroken to share with you…Jake has cancer.

Just typing that, I can’t breathe. I also can’t stop crying.

The cancer isn’t even the cause of his paralysis, they happened to find it accidentally when looking at his mobility issues (which we figured out, but who cares because he has cancer on top of it all).

While looking at the MRI they happened to see a mass on his kidney and cancer throughout the muscle/soft tissue of one of his hind legs.  Since those two areas are not really in the scope of neurology, we had a specialist take a look. They called me on Saturday. It was the worst Valentine’s Day gift ever.

It hasn’t even been a year since Melvin’s diagnosis. It’s so easy to ask, WHY is this happening to him. To us.  But instead, I’m trying to focus on a different why.  Why Jake ended up here.  And I know the answer to that one. Jake needed to find his joy, and he was never going to find it in his first home. He waited patiently with them for five years and then it was time, to hunt down his real family. He found his forever here with us. He came for love, he came so that life could show him that he has someone. He came for patience. He came for unconditional support and even-if-you-poop-every-night-at-4am love. When anything strikes him down, he looks to me, with one eye, and I take care of him. And he came because Melvin is his soul mate, his other half. Melvin made him feel safe and gave him calm and gave him a partner in life and love. Together, we completed Jake.

But there is a flip side.  Jake completed us too. He made us a little family.  He is my laughter, he is the cause of 88% of my smiles. Jake and I have gotten each other through these past months without Melvin. I lean on him, as much as he leans on me. Both Jake and Melvin are my purpose.

Jake came here so I could see him through all his health issues, including cancer. As part of that, my plan is for Jake to live well into his teens.

We have to see an oncologist for prognosis, right now we have an appointment for Thursday morning (I’m calling around trying to find a sooner appt.) In my conversation with the neurologist, he shared concerns of metastasis in areas we didn’t see on the spinal MRI.

Yet another moment all the air went away, but we don’t know what we don’t know.

We will keep you posted. I promise you he will have everything he needs. Love will prevail.