Jake’s confession.

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Hey guys, it’s me Jake.  I’ve been instructed to confess my sin.  At first I was surprised at the singular ‘sin’ part but then I became super thankful that She does not know about my other indiscretions.  Apparently this time I’m to admit to the following:

I pee’d on Melvin’s bed. Again.

To be honest, I did not know this was a sin.  I mean I…oh, who am I kidding?  I knew She’d be upset and inside I was laughing when he laid in it!  I’m somewhere between the age of thirty to thirty-six but I’m like that thirty-year-old human dude who thinks he’s still in a fraternity and still lives with his parents and still plays video games in the basement.  Only the dog version of that is peeing in your brother’s bed.  Calm down, I mean there is a ton of crime and strife going on in this world, a little pee never killed anyone.

Why did I do it?  Well, no one knows for sure.  Not even me.  I love my brother, I live to smell his butt.  I stare at him and when he moves, I follow.  At the same time, I hate my brother.  He gets more food than I do, he gets to go through doorways before me and his bed is bigger and more comfortable than mine (even though She claims they are exactly the same bed, I can just tell, his is better).  Also, the other day he jumped off the bed and I could tell he jumped TOWARDS me when he clearly could have jumped away from my precious body. And I know it confuses her that I sleep in that bed every chance I get and still I pee in it and well you what…I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.  I’M JAKE.  I HAVE A DARK SIDE.  DEAL WITH IT.

Are we done here?  How does confession work, am I just instantly forgiven and released of all guilt?  Great!  Take care, peace out.

 It's OK little brother, when you pee in my bed, I get to sleep in the big bed.


It’s OK little brother, when you pee in my bed, I get to sleep in the big bed.

Insomniacs would hate Melvin.

Melvin can sleep.  I mean that dog can curl up and snooze like no ones business.  I actually get jealous of how deep a sleep and how completely comfortable he can get.

They had a news story today about how many people suffer from insomnia and have to resort to sleeping aids/pills.  Melvin did not understand the words that reporter was speaking.

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Dogs eat stuff.

I know that Melvin will eat anything.  Cupcake covered in ants, chicken bone that has been cooking in the hot summer sun, goose poop.  You enter it HERE and I assure you he will eat it.  In a neighborhood where houses are being built (i.e. workers all over who discard food by throwing it on the ground), walking can be like maneuvering through a minefield.

Jake is proving himself to be similar, yet different.  Jake eats weird stuff.  Plumbers putty from the side of the house, rocks, leaves, a baby frog.  This weekend, it was chewed gum.  Since we didn’t know if it was sugar-free gum or not (turns out it was) we called poison control to get advice on what to do.  (For those of you who don’t know, sugar-free gum that contains xylitol is toxic to dogs). I gave poison control my phone number and immediately they asked “is this for Jake?”.  He’s a frequent flyer at poison control.

Apparently, the xylitol in sugar-free gum tricks a dog’s body into thinking it has consumed A LOT of sugar and the dog’s reaction to so much sugar can, in some instances, cause liver failure.  I’m sure a vet could critique the explanation I just gave but that’s the basic gist of it.  Jake had some minor stomach upset, he threw up and that was pretty much that.  Poison control said to be on the lookout for him acting ‘odd’ or ‘out of sorts’.  I questioned my ability to know what odd Jake would be like.  For example, I give you the video below.  He was staring into space long enough for me to go get my camera and start filming him.  Still, to be honest, this is not totally out of character for my little man:

Just an FYI…while on the phone with poison control they informed me that if a dog is microchiped through Home Again (or registered through Home Again), the cost of calls to poison control is covered!

Dogs and decor.

I love my dogs.  I also love decorating. Of course,  I love my dogs more than decorating.  Luckily, there is no need to sacrifice one for the other.  You read the blog, you know the dogs are spoiled.  They each have three beds to my one, they have a trunk full of sweaters and jackets and they have almost every collar made by Sirius Republic.  But the thing is, I don’t LOVE dog stuff.  I don’t like to see dog stuff that looks like dog stuff.  Oddly, if I go to someone else’s house and they have dog stuff strewn all around, I don’t even notice.  But in my house, it haunts me. So the compromise is, the dog stuff has to either blend in or make a bold statement.

Here are some tricks that work for me.

Treats as decoration:8 22 13 8 22 13a

Dog lounging that blends in:8 22 13c

A functional yet aesthetically pleasing mudroom:8 22 13b 8 22 13g 8 22 13h

Carpets that hide hair!8 22 13f 8 22 13i

A teepee that takes people by surprise yet still work as a lounging area for Jake!8 22 13j

A sleeping area in the  master bedroom that doesn’t make the room feel cluttered:8 22 13d 8 22 13k

And storage for their stuff (I forgot to take the photo before I left this morning, but see that piece of furniture behind Jake):8 22 13z

It’s a darker version of this (below) and all their collars and sweaters are inside it:

chest 1 chest 2

Anyone have other tips for making dog and human decor blend??

The other one.

The dog’s one and only real squabble was over a Kong.  An empty Kong that Jake felt the need to protect from Melvin.  Most of the advice I got after this incident was to not give them treats together, be careful with food guarding and/or to avoid Kongs all together.  I love advice, and often I listen to it.  But before we quit group Kongs all together, I wanted to at least try to create a world where the boys could both have a Kong, UNDER SUPERVISION, without a civil war ensuing.  I had to try.

My plan was to try to teach Jake about ‘the other one’.  The other one being the other Kong.  If one Kong was being occupied, there was always ‘the other one’.  I guess in a way I was teaching him to trust me to know how to count to two.  That we don’t have to ration Kongs.  To have faith.  We’re lovers, not fighters.  So I bought A LOT of Kongs and I put them all over the floor (again, always under supervision) and I would sit on the floor and give Jake an empty Kong and give Melvin an empty Kong and pick up other Kongs and say ‘the other one’.  Get the other one.  Here’s the other one.  Where’s the other one.   I constantly repeated ‘the other one’ when Jake would move to a different Kong. Again, the Kongs were all empty so the boys energy level stayed pretty low.  I did this Kong desensitization daily. I’m not sure they could have been more bored, I know I couldn’t have been.  And that was exactly what I wanted, ho-hum attitudes towards Kongs.  I opted out of treating them for good behavior during these sessions, I didn’t want to introduce food until I was certain they could handle empty Kongs around each other.  Weeks and weeks and weeks of empty Kongs.

Then one day I gave them each a Kong, with a treat in it.  Jake ate his and Melvin ate his.  Jake finished first and went over to see Melvin’s.  I would say get ‘the other one’ and he’d go back to his Kong.  When Melvin was done and he’d go check out Jake’s Kong, I’d say it again and Jake would leave his Kong to Melvin and check out Melvin’s last one.  If one Kong is occupado, move on to THE OTHER ONE.

Now, they exchange Kongs mid snacking on them.  Melvin is better at getting the treats out and Jake is the master of licking the peanut butter out of the top.  Look at my duo go! The yin and yang of Kongamania!   I still watch them diligently, and always will.  You just never know when something could spark a fight. But for now,  we have peace! And a lot of Kongs.

photo photo[1] photo[2]