Recent explosions.

In the past week, four things have happened that I would rather had not.

  1. We came in from a morning bathroom break and I went into the loo (for no fewer than about 30 seconds).  While I was in there, I could hear Jake ‘swimming’ it’s what happens when he can’t catch his footing and he’s fighting to get his legs upright.  This noise is nothing new.  I came out of the loo, looked to left where the noise was coming from to find that Jake (in 30 seconds) had poop’d, fallen backwards into it, scooted around for several feet in it in an effort to get upright, stepped in it and did some ‘swimming’ with his poop covered hind legs.  He managed to spread poop into a 5 foot by 7 foot area, mostly on rug.  HOW? WHY?  It took me over an hour to clean up. He gave new meaning to the term ‘shit storm’.
  2. One night, Jake pee’d through two cloth diaper pads, two maxi pads and a waterproof diaper, thus soaking through two bed covers and into the bed. He alerted me to this problem at 2am.
  3. On a night when a migraine was trying to kill me and I was in extreme pain and very stomach sick, Jake decided to spew his full weight in throw-up all over his bed and condo.  As I was cleaning it up, mind you, I go blind in one eye during migraines and was VERY stomach sick, I ended up throwing up on Jake (because i could not see him).  Low point in our lives folks.  I had to crawl with him into the shower at 3am. With a migraine.  Each of us blind in one eye.  No bueno.
  4. Jake poop’d on my foot. The end.

Try and be more glamorous than us, we dare you!